The Ketchup War

The best of this week’s quotes from my elementary students in South Korea (and some thrown in from friends too)

This has been a big week for me since the last Quote Friday. First, The Land of the Maple Leaf accepts me, THEN I finished those 50,000 words a day before my time limit of 30 days were up!!

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Me: ‘Green and grey don’t go together.’

TCO: ‘Yes they do!’

I start typing in my laptop.

TCO: ‘Are you asking the Internet?!’

Me: ‘Dammit. It says yes, they do.’

TCO: ‘Told you.’

Me: ‘Fine. I just don’t like that shirt. I don’t like the color. I don’t like dark colors that aren’t black.’

***

Speaking of an irrational dislike for things, I recently had to work with a designer designing a poster for a charity music festival The Canadian One and I are doing in TOMORROW for Little Travellers Korea, a charity we run here for the Hillcrest AIDS Center, South Africa.

Her: Is it ‘just the flowers you hate or is any pattern there a problem?’

Me: ‘No, it’s just the flowers. I think it looks like wallpaper. I don’t like wallpaper.’

Her: ‘Ah I wanted it to look like wallpaper! (I actually searched “wallpaper”)’

Me: ‘Ahhh, I seee. I think that’s why I didn’t like the grey pattern too. I don’t like wallpaper. In general. I mean in real life on walls.’

Moments later, I included for clarity:

Me: ‘I don’t hate all wallpaper. I like stripes. I just thought I’d throw that it in case you think it’s all wallpaper. Its not. Just complicated patterned wallpaper.’

We agreed on this in the end:

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I walk into class. A Grade One kid is pointing an umbrella at me. I grab it from him really quickly and hold it high in the air. Little Girl next to him bursts into laughter.

Little Girl: ‘Hahahahaha, you’re small. I’m big.’ (pointing at me)

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I have a kid called ‘Dave’ and every time I say his name he responds with ‘Dave’…I don’t get it.

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Me, calling on a kid to answer a question: ‘Bono?’

He looked up at me from his workbook.

‘Yes, what’s problem?’

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I explain what braids are to the class as the sentence in the book is, ‘Only a few boys can braid hair.’ Almost immediately a boy turns to the girl next to him and starts braiding her hair. It’s the only time in all my years of teaching have I ever had to say:

‘DUKE, stop braiding Alicia’s hair!!’

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Two kids come running into my class during break.

Kid 1: ‘Teacher, teacher, Duke and Bono fight!!’

Me, busying grading tests, not looking up: ‘OK.’

Kid 1: ‘Bono win.’

Me: ‘That’s nice.’

Kid 2, laughing at him: ‘She don’t care!’

***

Two kids fight in my classroom:

Kid 1: ‘Are you many many crazy?!!!’

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A kid is messing around.

Me: ‘Baxter, what are you doing?!!’

Baxter, turning to look at me, thinks: ‘Seeing the teacher?’

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Don’t forget, The Ketchup War needs YOUR help! We’ve been nominated for an Expat Blog Award.

Uh huh! Insert happy dance here.

But we need YOU. The South Korea winner will be announced December 12th and is based on reviews left on the site from its readers. That’s YOU! Just pop on over to The Ketchup War’s page and leave us an awesome review. You just KNOW you want to!

Dooooooo ittttttt and also have a lovely day!!

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For more Quote Friday’s, check out:

• ‘I rolled too far.’ – Noverber 23rd 2012
• ‘Robot Making Class.’ – November 16th 2012
• ‘Throw in giant spiders.’ – November 9th 2012
• ‘Hey, don’t call people pandas!’ – October 26th 2012
• ‘I am NO potato.’ – October 19th 2012
• ‘I am from Martian Land.’ – October 12th 2012
• RE: Obama: ‘I don’t wanna see his mustache all over the TV’ – October 5th 2012
• ‘Teacher, STOP TALKING!’ – September 28th 2012
• ‘Oh teacher, your font is very good.’ – September 21st 2012
• ‘Giraffe is no tall.’ – September 14th 2012
• ‘Teacher’s head is sad.’ – September 6th 2012
• ‘Kids can be evil.’ – August 31st 2012
• ‘I’M NOT OK!!!’ – August 24th 2012
• ‘Ah, do you live Gangnam Style?’ – August 17th 2012