The best of this week’s quotes from my elementary students in South Korea (and some thrown in from friends too)

Guy to girl who’s just explained how a guy she recently went on a date with used the ‘let me tell your fortune’ line on her to hold her hand: ‘Uh huh, and then he’ll be like I wanna tell your fortune…from inside you…’

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Same guy, during dinner in a fancy hotel: ‘Am I making too many orgy jokes?’

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Guy: ‘There are plenty of girls who want to see my Google history.’

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A kid draws all over the board messily with a board marker.

Other kid, gasps, ‘Teacher!! White board terror!!!’

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Me: ‘What’s tall?’

Kid: ‘A giraffe.’

Me: ‘Very good!’

Kid 2: ‘Teacher, giraffe is no tall. Giraffe has long neck. It’s no tall.’

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Some pictures from April Lynn Amador and her 6 year old Kindergarten students!

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I call mam at 12:20am.

Mam: ‘I’m knitting you a hat. I wanna know what kinda hat you’d like.’

Me: ‘One with ear flaps. Like flaps that cover my ears.’

Mam: ‘Ok. Do you have a hat like that already?’

Me: ‘Yes. It’s got stuff inside it.’

Mam: ‘Oh lining. I can put lining in it.’

Me: ‘No, not lining.’

Mam: ‘Like the stuff in the hat I got you at Northface.’

Me: ‘No, it’s fluffy.’

Mam: ‘It’s lining.’

Me: ‘No, it’s not the same. It’s fluffy. It’s like…3D…I can pet it.’

Pause.

Mam: ‘You can pet it? Does it have a name? Do you feed it?’

Me: ‘I don’t want a hat anymore. Go away!’

We end the conversation and The Canadian One comes into the bedroom.

Him: ‘What was that about?’

Me: ‘She’s making me a hat. I was trying to describe that hat to her (pointing to my hat on the ground). I told her the fluff was 3D.’

Pause. He takes a deep breath.

Him: ‘You do realize the entire hat is 3D, right? I mean everything you touch is 3D.’

Pause.

Me: ‘Shut up!’

Mam calls back at 9:19am.

Mam: ‘I made you a hat. I sent you a picture.’

Me: ‘ALREADY?!!’

I check my phone.

Me: ‘IT HAS EAR FLAPS!!!!! YAAAAAY!!!’

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