‘They all already speak Canadian…’ – Quote Friday – 03/08

Remember last week when I said ‘this is the last Quote Friday ever, sob sob’, ‘I’ll never teach again, sob sob’, ‘I’m gonna miss Quote Friday so much, sob sob’…well, I lied.

Actually, wait, I didn’t lie. At the time, I was telling the truth. It was the last day of my contract. I was planning on sitting around unemployed for three weeks and then move to The Land of the Maple Leaf but alas, that didn’t happen. After three full days of unemployment, I found a job and went back to work. OK, I didn’t find a job, a job found me. I packed my little lunch bag and my foam die and headed back into the classroom.Now, you remember how I spent my last day of teaching…

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…watching kids watch a movie. Well guess what, that’s exactly how I spent my first day back at teaching, watching kids watch a movie. There are some days I can’t believe I get paid for this. Seriously.

In unrelated news, I was looking at this picture the other day when The Canadian One exclaimed, “IT’S YOU!!!”

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He also sent me this, claiming it’s also me.

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Apparently I‘m the red brick.

I’m saying nothing.

Moving on.

During speaking test to determine level, all during a private test:

Me: “Do you like English?”

Kid, scrunches up her face: “Yes?”

Kid 2, shaking her head defiantly: “No. No I don’t.”

Kid 3 after a long pause: “Yes.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Kid 3: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Kid 4, eyeing me suspiciously: “No?”

***

During the speaking test, I had to point to three animals and the kids had to name them. There was a bird flying, a cat sitting and a rabbit sleeping.

Kid, pointing to each animal: “Bird. Cat. Sleeping!!!”

***

Kid comes into class while I’m setting up the movie.

Kid: “Hulk?”

Me: “I don’t have Hulk.”

Pause

Kid: “Naver.” – The Korean Google

Me: “No.”

***

Me, my first day in the school: “Do I get an attendance sheet?”

Co-Teacher: “No.”

Me: “Can you tell me how many are in each class?”

Co-Teacher: “No.”

Bare in mind, she’d been teaching these kids all year, and a Korean school year runs March-March.

***

After every Tom and Jerry cartoon, I put it to a vote what we watched next.

Me: “Hands up, Tom and Jerry.”

Kids put their hands up, if it’s a majority, we watch it, if not, we watch something else. Straight after the third episode, one little boy sees his shot.

Kid: “HANDS UP MR. BEAN!!!”

Clever considering I’d only been teaching him for around 15 minutes at this point.

***

Regarding me leaving the bar ‘early’ at 2:30am to attend an 11am meeting the following morning: “WHO organizes a meeting at 11am on a Sunday for a group of Irish people?!!”

The response from my other friend is unpublishable.

***

I scream in the apartment, there was probably a spider.

Me: “I shouldn’t do that. The neighbors will hear.”

The Canadian One: “I could murder you and all your friends in this apartment and no one would come.”

He’s right. No one would come rescue me!

***

Guy: “What are you gonna do in Canada?”

Me: “I dunno.”

Guy: “Well, not teach English, right?”

Me: “No, they all already speak Canadian…No, English…They speak English.”

Pause.

Me: “Please don’t tell The Canadian One I said that.”

***

Me, explaining my plan for unemployment: “Work on my book…and by work on my book, I mean play on Facebook.”

***

Me: “Ah, March, the month when every American claims to be Irish.”

***

Having worked out during a meeting earlier that there are roughly 20 shots in a bottle of Jameson:

Me: “That must mean there are 20 shots in a bottle of vodka too, so like 20 drinks…although probably not the way I drink it.”

***

Just to note, this is what The Canadian One and I bought on day one of unemployment:

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Keeping things classy. It’s also worth noting that picture got more ‘likes’ on Facebook that possibly any other picture I’ve posted on my personal Facebook….o.O

***

Me, reading the list of volunteers: “Ou, I have a volunteer named Christopher Brown…I would imagine he likes to go by his full name at all times.”

***

Do you love Quote Friday? Sad to see it come to an end next week? Sob, sob. Well fear not!

COMING SOON: The QUOTE FRIDAY book, the best of four years of quotes including some never before published ones. ‘Watch Out for the Hedgehog’ on sale May 1st.

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For more details and special offers, sign up to our Watch Out for the Hedgehog mailing list to stay up to date. 

For more Quote Fridays, check out:

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2 thoughts on “‘They all already speak Canadian…’ – Quote Friday – 03/08

  1. Pingback: “Ms. Ireland?” – Quote Friday – 03/15 | The Ketchup War

  2. Pingback: 10 Days in T-Dot – Quote Friday – 03/05 | The Ketchup War

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