The best of this week’s quotes from my elementary students in South Korea (and some thrown in from friends too)

It’s my birthday today!!

I just wanted to point that out before we begin.

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Me: ‘You’re like a domesticated puppy.’

The Canadian One: ‘I’m like a half domesticated puppy that still pees on the floor sometimes.’

Me: ‘Can I put that on my blog?’

The Canadian One: ‘Not out of context!’

Context: I was sitting on the floor of the kitchen with a teapot cosy on my head while he was cleaning the top of the fridge.

No, I didn’t think the context would help either!

To be fair, after this happened, he said this about me:

The Canadian One: ‘I think of living with her the same way I do living with a puppy, one day I’m gonna come home and she will have broken something I really like.’

A mere seconds later I saved his life. Saved. His. Life. Who’s the puppy NOW?!

Moving on.

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Kid: ‘Teacher, ummmm, tomorrow happy birthday…ummmm, do you like pencil?’

Me: ‘Yes! I love pencils!’

Kid: ‘And sticker?’

Me: ‘Yes, I love stickers.’

Me: ‘No no, GRADE six. Not great.’

Kid: ‘Kevin is grade six!’ (pointing at another boy sitting behind her)

Kevin looks up at me.

Kevin: ‘Yes, teacher, give me your coffee.’

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A kid has no pencil.

Me: ‘If someone gives him a pencil, I’ll give you a sticker.’

Kid, being mean to all the other students: ‘No, no, I have a pencil.’

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Someone hits my door during a lesson. I open the door to find kids scattering and one boy standing, staring at me like a deer in headlights.

Me: ‘Who hit my door?!’

Kid: ‘I don’t know…I don’t know…’

I stare at him.

Kid: ‘I don’t know…’

Me: ‘Come here.’

Kid: ‘It was Tony!!’

***

Kid talking to me randomly about food.

Kid: ‘Oh teacher, I see, the jungle man say eat this and the people eat and then bleeeeeh…’

Me: ‘What did they eat?’

Kid: ‘Thin white ants and iguanas.’

Me: ‘Ewwww…’

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Me: ‘It’s big and brown. It has a big head and four legs.’

Two kids put their hands up.

Kid 1: ‘It’s a bear!!!’

Kid 2: ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!’

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Kid: ‘Oh teacher, do you know sweater?’

Me: ‘What?’

Kid: ‘Sweater?’

I look at her, skeptically.

Kid: ‘Sweater? No? Wait…’ (to the kid next to her) ‘…Sweater? Sweater?’

Kid 2: ‘No, Twitter!’

Kid: ‘Ohhh, do you know Twitter?’

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Me: ‘What country do you live in?’

Kid: ‘Japan!’

Me: ‘NO!! This is Korea!!’

Kid next to her, pointing at her: ‘Japan spy!!!’

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Me: ‘What do you not want to be?’

Little Boy: ‘I don’t want to be a mom!’

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Me, trying to get a kid to move to a different desk and pointing at am empty desk: ‘Move it!’

Kid, looking at me quizzically: ‘Movie? We watching movie?’

Me: ‘No! Move it!’

Pause

Kid: ‘Move it…? I like to move it move it?’

Me: ‘Come sit here!’

Kid, gathering his stuff: ‘I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it!’

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Me: ‘Your final text will be in three weeks.’

Kid: ‘What?! Test last week!!!’

Me: ‘I know, it makes no sense to me either but it’s on the schedule so…we’re having a test.’

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Submitted by Michael Holman:

When talking about good/bad habits:

Me: ‘What’s a bad habit you have?’

Girl1: ‘What is ‘habit’?’

Me: ‘Something you do every day.’

Girl1: ‘I have a bad habit of hating my baby brother.’

Girl2: ‘Me TOO!!’

At least she decided it was a ‘bad’ habit.

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For more Quote Fridays, check out:

• ‘I am McGyver!!’ – July 13th 2012
• ‘They think we’re American.’ – July 6th 2012
• ‘He said I am sweet potato.’ – June 29th 2012
• ‘A SNOOOOOOW PERSON!’ – June 22nd 2012
• ‘I did my homework with a paintbrush.’ – June 15th 2012
• ‘Some new quotes and Top 11 quotes from The Wall’ – June 9th 2012
• ‘I am Mommy Monster!’ – May 25th 2012
• ‘Why do you have tadpoles in my class?’ – May 18th 2012
• ‘He looks smart.’ – May 11th 2012
• ‘His skin is bling bling?’ – May 4th 2012
• And, of course, in the Index