Quote Friday: A round-up of the best quotes from my elementary school kids in South Korea this week!

Some school-related news: this week marks Open Class being upon us…today in fact…in T-60 minutes. For those who don’t know, Open Class is where all of my classes I teach across two days are combined into just 5 classes via time not level…where’s the logic, really?!!…and then the parents and other teachers from the school get to come in, watch the classes, take notes and grade me on how well I do…yep….so that’s happening today. Due to this, Quote Friday is being posted now, as oppose to later as the plan for today is 1) Do Open Classes, 2) Do Not Freak Out, 3) Go home, get changed, get The Canadian One to buy me dinner and copious amounts of alcohol….4) Wake Up Saturday Afternoon.

And so I present: Quote Friday!

I get the sneaky suspicion my kids are getting tired of my reminders that Open Class is almost upon us.

Me: ‘Ok, so on Friday it’s Open Class.’

Kid: “WE KNOW!’

***

Giving warnings about Open Class, pointing to the three naughtiest boys in my class:

Me: ‘You, you and you…’

Kid: ‘Shut up?’

Pause

Me: ‘Well, yes be quiet.’

***

Me: ‘What must we remember for tomorrow?’

Kid: ‘Speak in medium voice.’

***

Talking to my Grade Twos:

Me: ‘Ok I’m going to take your books…’

Kid: ‘You take my book??!!!’

Me: ‘And give it back to you tomorrow.’

Kid: ‘Why?!!!’

Me: ‘Because I think you will forget your book.’

Kid: ‘No. I remember.’

Me: ‘Ok. You won’t forget?’

Kid: ‘No.’

Me: ‘You’re sure?’

Kid: ‘Yes.’

Me: ‘Ok but if you forget your book I’ll minus you three stickers.’

Pause

Kid: ‘You can have my book.’

***

A kid walks into class, eyes the newly decorated back wall of the classroom and looks at me.

Kid: ‘For mommy and daddy?’

***

Me: ‘For Open Class, you will work in pairs. There will be 15 students…’

Kid: ’15 people? One people solo?’

***

Me: ‘Write down a problem and two solutions.’

Kid: ‘I don’t have money. I really want money. Let’s call my mom.’

***

Me, telling a kid off: ‘You know if you say what what what it’s very bad, it’s not very nice.’

Pause

Kid, eyeing me suspiciously: ‘But…teacher just say…’

***

Me: ‘I said…’

Kid: ‘You sad?!!!’

Me: ‘What?’

Kid: “Why teacher sad?!!’

Me: ‘What?!’

Kid: ‘Teacher say, I sad.’

Me: ‘I SAID…not SAD…I’m not sad, I’m fine.’

***

Kid: ‘In fall, I go hiking.’

Kid next to her: ‘Ouuuuu leaves!’

***

Kid: ‘Teacher, look I make!! At school! It’s a Christmas card.’

Me: ‘It’s June!!’

Kid: ‘I know. At Christmas I give to mommy!’

***

Regarding Open Class:

Kid: ‘Mommy and daddy books?’

Me: ‘No, mommy and daddy don’t get books.’

Kid: ‘Mommy and daddy stickers?’

Me: ‘No, mommy and daddy are watching the class not doing the class.’

Kid: ‘No stickers?’

***

Me, describing a spider from the book: ‘It has big, black eyes. It is small. It has fur. It is cute…’

Kid: ‘IT IS NOT CUTE!!’

***

Regarding a ‘hamster’ flashcard I’d just given him:

Me: ‘Where’s your flashcard?’

Kid: ‘I don’t know.’

Me: ‘Give me the flashcard!’

The kid takes the flashcard out of his desk and holds it up.

Kid: ‘But I want. I can have?’

Me: ‘No, you cannot.’

Kid: ‘But it’s so cute!’

***

I come back from the bathroom and the giant TV mounted on the wall is shaking.

Me: ‘Why is the TV shaking?!’

Kid: ‘It’s happy! It’s happy so it shake!’

She’d run into it accidentally but still, good answer.

***

A kid yells an answer at me.

Me: ‘Why are you yelling at me, I’m right beside you?!’

Kid repeats answer, whispering.

***

Kid: ‘Teacher, smell my pencil.’

Holds out pencil.

Me: ‘Um, no.’

***

Kid, looking at my coffee: ‘Is it like medicine?’

***

I hold up a picture of a hippo.

Me: “What is it?’

Kid: ‘People…no…wait…no…’

***

From a written task: ‘This is my mom. She’s in the dad.’

***

I hold up a picture of a whale.

Me: ‘What is it?’

Entire class: ‘I don’t know. I don’t know.’

One kid: ‘Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale. Whallllllllllllllle. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale.’

***

From a written task, describing her friend: ‘She likes brutal.’

Me: ‘She likes brutal? What?’

Kid mimes killing and stabbing.

Me: ‘Oh, violence….v-i-o-l-e-n-c-e.’

***

Kid: ‘Teacher, Friday, Open Class, I don’t come.’

Me: ‘What?! Why not?! You have to come. I need an even amount of students!’

Kid: ‘I am the only boy.’

Me: “You’re the only boy everyday, that’s not a valid excuse!’

***

Me: ‘What can you do in Winter?’

By the time third period rolls round, I usually have an iced latte in the class and all the students know the unspoken (and occasionally very spoken) rule of DON’T TOUCH TEACHER’S COFFEE…which also encompasses Don’t knock over Teacher’s coffee and Do not drop anything into Teacher’s coffee.

This rule especially comes into play when we’re playing ball games in class or the kids are running about.

On Wednesday, a kid wrote on the board and on her way back to her desk, bumped into the desk with my coffee on it. The kid was fine.

Me: ‘Be careful of the coffee.’

Her Friend: ‘TEACHER….(pointing at her friend but looking at me sternly)…Are you ok?!!’

Me: ‘Sorry, yes, are you ok?’

Kid: ‘Yes.’

Me: ‘Good. Be careful of the coffee.’

***

 Find more Quote Friday’s here:

• ‘A SNOOOOOOOOOW PERSON!’ – Quote Friday
• ‘I did my homework with a paintbrush’ – Quote Friday
• Quote Friday – Some New Quotes and Top 11 Quotes From The Wall
• ‘Why do you have tadpoles in my class?’ – New Quotes Added
• Quote Friday – Some New Quotes and Top 11 Quotes From The Wall
• ‘I am Mommy Monster!’ – May 25th 2012
• ‘Why do you have tadpoles in my class?’ – May 18th 2012
• ‘He looks smart.’ – May 11th 2012
• ‘His skin is bling bling?’ – May 4th 2012
• ‘Relax!’ – April 27th 2012
• ‘She is like wi-fi!’ – April 20th 2012
• ‘Dino-Aliens!! I KNEW IT!!’ – April 13th 2012
• ‘It’s so bling bling.’ – April 6th 2012

And many more in the Index and on The Wall!