It’s QUUUUOTEEEE FRIDDDAAAAY!! YAY!! Goodness, what a long week it’s been! Tuesday off school, today is party day where technically all I’m doing is ‘supervising’ a scavenger hunt. It’s been sunny all week with a trip to Costco and food and wine all purchased, a trip to The Avengers…clearly this week also marked payday. Have a good weekend everyone and look out for my post about the alcohol expo on Sunday…or Monday if I’m still hungover on Sunday.
First up: Recently my mother called me to A: tell me that she’s going to Barcelona for a weekend and B: ask could I send her my camera to borrow for her trip. Her having no camera reminded me of when her kitten ran away last year and she said this to me on the phone:
Mam: ‘Ohhhh if I had a camera, I’d take a picture of her and put it up in the newsagents…Oh wait, she’s not here. I can’t take a picture of her! Nevermind.’
Kid 1: Teacher, you have boyfriend?’
Kid 2: ‘He Korean?’
Me: ‘No, he’s Canadian.’
Kid 1: ‘Ou Teacher! He is handsome? Like a singer? His skin is bling bling?’
Me: ‘Ha, yes, he is very handsome.’
Kid 2: ‘REALLY??’
Me: ‘Of course!’
Kid 1: ‘Ou, you are lucky girl!’
Kid: ‘Teacher, you boyfriend, he will you marry me, you, ok??’
Me: ‘What is your favorite holiday?’
Me: ‘Sunday’s not a holiday.’
Kid: ‘Yes, it is.’
Me: ‘The next question is, ‘When is it celebrated?’ How will you answer that?’
Kid: ‘Every Sunday.’
Me: ‘What’s the difference between a library and a bookstore?’
Kid: ‘The name.’
Submitted by Nicola:
I was on teaching practice teaching 6-7 year olds and the teacher I was working with got engaged. Another teacher prepared the class so when their teacher came in they yelled “congratulations!” and one little fella stands up and says ‘Yeah, congratulations on your enCAGEment!’
Teacher: ‘Did he just…?’
Teacher: ‘Kind of appropriate, really.’
Later the same day, some older girls come in with a card for the teacher and ask ‘When did you find out?’
Teacher replies ‘I didn’t find out – I was ASKED!!!!’
Me: ‘Did you do your homework?’
Little boy: (very slowly) ‘Y…e….s….’
Me: ‘Let me see.’
Little boy: ‘No, no, I no homework.’
My class is falling asleep and not paying attention.
Me: ‘Who wants to read?’
Me: ‘Reading, number one, who wants to read it?’
Me: ‘I’ll give you a sticker.’
Every hand shoots up and one kids screams: ‘WAIT, what page are we on?!!!’
Me: (looking around the classroom) ‘Where’s my homework book?’
Kid: (without missing a beat) ‘I ate it!’
Me: ‘You did not.’
Kid: ‘No, really!’
I find it.
Me: ‘Here it is.’
Kid: ‘Yes….I…. (makes throwing up noise)…you’re welcome.’
Two boys are fighting in my class while I’m correcting homework. The previous class I’d introduced superlatives (big-bigger-biggest) to them.
Boy 1: ‘You no man. You pretty girl!’
Boy 2: ‘You ugly girl!’
Boy 1: ‘You ugliest girl!’
Boy 2: ‘You worst girl!’
Me: ‘BOYS!! The….THE WORST…THE UGLIEST…We learned this last week!’
Me: ‘Name an actor.’
In my Grade 3 class, I have a Grade 1 student who’s too advanced to be in any other class. She attended my Grade 2 classes when she was in Kindergarten.
Grade 1 little girl: ‘Teacher, my new name is Erica.’
Grade 3 little girl: ‘Like America????’
Me: ‘Who can make a sentence with ‘how much’ in it?’
Little boy (pointing at little girl next to him): ‘How much is it?’
I’m talking to one of my more advanced kids in class a little quicker than I speak to the other kids because she understands me.
Kid next to her: ‘Teacher, you speaking Netherlands??!’
Don’t forget, find more quotes on the Wall and every Friday.