So some of you may noticed last week’s absence of Quote Friday. For this, I apologise. You see between last week and this week, my students have been finishing their old books and starting their new books. This has involved a lot of writing in class and very little speaking other than the occasional, ‘I don’t like the new book’ comments I get with each new book.
The students were also informed this week that Open Class is soon upon us. Ah, Open Class, a day in which the classes are combined via time NOT level (really, where’s the logic??!) and their parents get to come in, watch me try to teach one book to a vast spectrum of different ability students and they write down their thoughts on my class. They essentially grade me on how good I am at, not teaching a normal class under normal everyday circumstances, but how well I fare at teaching kids doing the wrong book at the wrong level with other kids that are waaaaay more advanced than them…Oh and it’s got to be fun too.
This, combined with the new books, the fact that my air conditioning is controlled by a central school system and they don’t deem it hot enough for it to be switched on yet leading to a rise in heat and sleepiness during class and a majority of my students being on field trips recently, has lead to no new and/or interesting quotes from my students.
Today, I go down the classroom to break up a fight between two little boys who are calling each other ‘a baby’, moments after I told the entire class off for faffing about and acting like kindergarten students.
Kid 1: ‘You baby!!’
Kid 2: ‘YOU BABY!!’
Kid 1, stands up, pointing at Kid 2: ‘Mommy’s milk, you go, drink!’
I immediately burst into laughter to the surprise of the entire class and had to hide my face behind my book.
And so I present to you my Top 11 (cos I couldn’t pick just 10) Quotes From The Wall!
Having just read the sentence: ‘Baby wallabies are born without fur.’
Me: ‘What are baby wallabies born without?’
Me: ‘What’s a baby chicken called?’
Kid: ‘An egg fry.’
Me: ‘What’s back to life?’
‘Dead…then no dead.’
‘Jesus was a zombie!!’
Me: ‘No…well, maybe.’
‘Yes teacher, Jesus was a zombie!’
Me: ‘Fine, but …don’t tell your mommy I said that!’
Me: ‘What’s your favorite book?’
Me: ‘What’s the story?’
‘It has no story.’
The two BEST definitions I’ve ever gotten:
Me: ‘What are eyebrows?’
Kid: ‘People’s eye fur.’
Me: ‘What’s a ‘tail’?’
‘A dog’s antenna.’
I asked my class what is ‘dark’. One student stood up, all excited and proceeded to explain the word dark using very animated hand gestures and random English words. He made no sense but I could tell he knew what it meant. His friend calmly raised his hand. I looked at him and he leaned over to the light switch next to him, knocked off the light….
…and then looked at his friend.
I stare, wide-eyed at a child making noise in my class while I’m talking. We had just learned the words ‘egg’, ‘chicken’, ‘lay’ and ‘hatch’.
Kid 1: ‘Teacher, your eyes, so big.’
Kid 2: ‘Teacher teacher, your eyes will hatch!!!’
Reading a story about a mother and two kids:
Kid 1: ‘Where is father?’
Me: ‘Maybe on vacation.’
Me: ‘OK, or maybe on vacation.’
‘Yes teacher, a forever vacation.’
Me: ‘Name a state in America.’
‘Yes, it’s a state.’
‘No it’s not!’
‘Yes, teacher, my mother and my father go to Loveland and give birth to my brother.’
Me: ‘Your mother and your father went to Loveland in America and had your brother?’
‘Yes…it’s a state.’
I literally couldn’t teach for five mins I was laughing so much!
Me: ‘Does a penguin lay eggs?’
Kid 1: ‘No.’
Kid 2: ‘YES!!And daddy penguin sit on egg like this’…Mimics sitting on an egg.
Me: ‘Right, very good.’
Kid 3: ‘Yes, and mommy penguin goes to the nightclub and eats fish.’
Usually the kids aren’t allowed out of the classroom during class as they run about the school.
Naughtiest kid in my class (boy, 11): ‘Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?’
‘No, you cannot.’
‘But teacher, man’s important part will bomb!!!!’
I was laughing so much, I just let him go!
For more, check out: