This week marked many things in our semester at school. Firstly, Tuesday was Teacher’s Day, a day when teachers all over the country get random, useless presents (if you’re me) or random, slightly more useful presents (if you’re The Canadian One).
I got plastic single flowers, 5 single chocolates, a small blown-up balloon, a pen, a bunch of Mother’s Day flowers (!) and a Burt Bees lip balm set (the most useful gift). The Canadian One, at his far more preppy, expensive kindergarten school, got fancy coffee,
fancy horrible tea, some men’s vitamins, Keihl’s face cream, an assortment of tiny bathroom products and another box of fancy, haven’t-tasted-yet-so-can’t-judge-flavor tea. Now, The Canadian One usually gets some expensive shopping vouchers too but his school have put a stop to that and all vouchers received must be returned. God dammit! Last year he got $200 for E-Mart and we ate like kings!! LIKE KINGS!! And I got a fancy, shiny new pot. But alas, no shiny new kitchen appliances this year. Although I did recently buy a Tefal frying pan with a little spot that turns red when it’s ready to use and I frikkin’ love it. By contrast, The Canadian One bought a guitar. Now, my pan was on sale and cost $20. His guitar cost $1,200.
The day he bought the guitar:
Me: ‘Do you like the guitar?’
Him: ‘You know how you felt the day we bought the frying pan and you were all excited to use it? That’s how I feel about the guitar!!’
For anyone who cares, his guitar is the furthest on the right…the black one. The other two are for sale to recoup the costs of the new one. Anyone in Seoul lookin’ to buy a guitar, I shall direct you to The Canadian One cos we ain’t leaving Korea with 7 (YES, SEVEN!) guitars!
This week has also marked my student’s two days of final tests (eventhough we’ve not finished the books and have two and a half week’s left of the semester…do not get me started on the illogical thinking going on behind that one). As such, with a busy week and very little talking time done, my Friday Quotes are short n sweet.
Oh and for anyone who read Tuesday’s post, The Canadian One has made $10 for the Canadian Diabetes Association so far. I’m laughing already!
So, onto the quotes:
This section, I shall title: My Mother and Skype
Mam (on Skype): ‘Goodbye!! I don’t know why I’m waving, I don’t have video on, you can’t see me!’
My brother did the same thing.
Brother: ‘Eh, I’m waving but you can’t see me….can you? The webcam is not here.’
When I first arrived back in Korea, I was placed in a hotel until my apartment was ready. I had downloaded Skype onto the hotel computer which had sound but no microphone. When I phoned mam, she would talk and I would type responses. Several minutes passed and she started typing responses.
Me: (typing) ‘I CAN HEAR YOU TYPING!!!’
Mam: (speaking) ‘Oh yeah!!!’
This happened twice!
Mam: ‘Is that a basin in the background? And Pledge (a cleaning product)? And sponges? Ah, dreams of cleaning….you’ve not gotten very far!’
Frikkin’ video calling.
Mam: ‘Hello? Are you still there?’
Mam: ‘Oh, I was worried when I closed the laptop you’d be gone…but you’re not.’
Mam: ‘I’m starting a blog. It’s called The Thousand Island Blog. You’re The Ketchup War. I’ll be Thousand Island. I though about being Mayonnaise but Thousand Island sounds better. You’re writing about me, I’m going to write about YOU!’
So do please look out for that, if she’s writing down stuff I say, it’ll be muuuuuch funnier than what she says, trust me!
From a written test:
Q: In your class, who is similar to you?
A: Amy because she has a lot of action and I’m too.
Me: ‘Ok, on Thursday we have our test.’
Kid: ‘A speaking test?’
Kid: ‘But it’s a speaking book!! WHAT THE HELL?!’
Me: ‘Do you know the United Kingdom?’
Kid: ‘Yes, it’s the same as Lego Kingdom.’
Me: ‘Not exactly.’
Kid 2: ‘Oh, a king and queen!! And a wall.’
In the middle of a test, regarding a question about writing a sentence about his friend:
Kid 1: (whispering) ‘Teacher, um, question, this…my friend?’
Kid 1: ‘Teacher, Calvin, spelling?’
Me: ‘Ok, where am I from?’
Kid 1: ‘Canada.’
Kid 2: ‘England!’
Kid 3: ‘Ireland!’
Me: ‘Yes!! Ok, now where is Ireland?’
Kid 1: ‘Asia!’
Me: ‘This is Asia!’
Kid 2: ‘North America!!!’
Me: ‘North America??!!’
Kid 3: ‘Europe!!!’ (puts his head on the desk!)
Kid during test: ‘I’m hungry.’
I was eating candy at my desk so I toss her a piece of candy. Kid behind her sees this happen.
Kid 2: ‘WHAT? Wait, why candy?!!’
Me: ‘What’s a baby frog called?’
Kid: ‘A snake!’
Me: ‘What’s an animal doctor called?’
Kid: ‘A vacation…no….wait….’
Kid: ‘Lara and I are best friends.’
Kid: ‘What are you saying??!!’
And finally, my students bring random pets to school. I’ve had a rabbit, a hamster (in a coat pocket), turtles (in a lunch box), a baby chicken (who screamed so loudly during class I had to put him in the Teacher’s Room) and another hamster who attended class three weeks in a row…and then died but not in my class, I must stress.
Recently, I had tadpoles in my Grade 2 class. A LOT of tadpoles.
Me: ‘Why do you have tadpoles in my class?’
Kid: ‘The science teacher give.’
Me: ‘What will you do with them?’
Kid: ‘Give to mommy.’
Me: ‘Where did the science teacher get them?’
Kid 2: ‘The mountain.’
Me: ‘Why are there two floating on top?’
Kid 2: ‘One baby frog eat two baby frogs.’
Kid 2: ‘We give egg so no eat baby frogs.’
Me: “Can I take a picture?’
Kid 3 (who doesn’t own any tadpoles): ‘Yes.’
and she hands me the bottle containing all the tadpoles.
And today, one kid brought back in her tadpoles….one had turned into a very small frog. Yep, just a typical day at work for me!