The best of this week’s quotes from my elementary students in South Korea (and some thrown in from friends too)
Some of you may remember from last week my student who continually became obsessed about The Canadian One and I not getting married but yet moving to Canada together. This week, she decided to spread a rumor that I am getting married, made an entire class sing congratulations to me and she snuck into my classroom four hours before her class was due to start while I was dealing with a kid and his nose bleed (that bled all over my floor) and left me a note:
Speaking of notes, I found this one on my board on Monday:
And this picture on my desk this morning, the day after the kids were told I was leaving:
I was also given this as a present:
***
Meanwhile, in another class:
A kid stands up in the middle of class and yells: ‘YOUR FACE TELLS LIES!!!’ at his friend who was across the room.
And no, no I have no idea why.
***
Sometimes being an English teacher to kids that don’t speak much English requires all the deduction of Sherlock Holmes.
Kid: ‘Teacher final test yesterday you bye-bye day?’
Pause
Me: ‘The 27th? Yes. Your test is on the 27th.’
***
Me: ‘What’s proud?’
Kid 1: ‘Prize.’
Kid 2: ‘Prize?’
Kid 1: ‘Prize. Yes.’
Kid 2: ‘Chicken?’
Kid 1: ‘What?’
Kid 2: ‘Fried chicken?’
Kid 1: ‘No, no FRIED, PRIZE.’
***
I’m standing at the whiteboard after class. A kid comes up to me.
Kid: ‘Teacher is simple.’
Pause.
Kid: ‘Wait..’
She scrunches up her face.
Kid: ‘No.’
Then she left.
…WHAT?!!
***
Me: ‘Name a country.’
Kid puts up his hand, puts down his hand. puts up his hand. puts down his hand. puts up his hand and nods.
Me: ‘Yes?’
Him: ‘KOREA!!’
***
Kid: ‘Teacher, me go to canada and to you dangdangdada?’
***
Kid comes up to my desk during a break.
Kid: ‘Teacher, do you know Stevie Wonder?’
Me: ‘…yes…’
Kid, breaking into song: ‘ISN’T SHE LOOOOOOOVELY!!!!’
Pause.
Kid: ‘ISN’T SHE LOOOOOOOOVELY!!!’
This continued for a minute until I made her go away.
***
From Captain Thunderbox’s (he picked his own anonymous name) kindergarten class:
***
I run into the school’s male foreign teacher on my way back from the bathroom and we were chatting. I come to class.
Entire class: ‘You and Haley teacher friends?’
Me: ‘Yes.’
ONE KID: ‘LOVE!!’
Entire class: ‘NO!! Friends!’
Another boy pointing at the boy who said ‘love’: ‘He’s crazy!!’
***
After being told in Korean that I was leaving in three weeks.
Kid: ‘Teacher, me….20….you 37…me come see you in Canada.’
Quickly followed by ‘Do you have Facebook?’
***
Me: ‘What’s hungry?’
Kid: ‘Stomach…grrrrrrr.’
***
Kid: ‘Teacher, volcano is…’
Looong pause.
Kid: ‘…fire water?’
Me: ‘Yes.’
***
Two kids are having a conversation while I’m correcting homework.
Kid 1: ‘I like tiger.’
Kid 2: ‘You like Tyler?’ (Tyler is a kid in the class)
Kid 1: ‘No, tiger.’
Kid 2: ‘Tyler?!’
Kid 1: ‘TIGER!!’
Kid 2, turning to Tyler: ‘Oh Tyler, fantastic!!’
***
Me: ‘Hey, shhhhhhh stop talking.’
Kid: ‘I’m no talking.’
Me: ‘I can hear you. You’re talking.’
Kid: ‘No. Alone talking. No people. Alone.’
Me: ‘That’s still talking. Shhhh.’
***
The kids are drawing pictures of food they like and food they don’t like. We’ve been studying food for about two weeks now.
Kid 1: ‘Teacher, Ian like all food. No food don’t like.’
Me: ‘Ian, make it up. It doesn’t matter. Draw something you don’t like. One thing.’
A moment passes when I hear Kid 1 again. He’s leaning over looking at Ian’s picture.
Kid 1: ‘You don’t like girls?’
***
Me: ‘What’s a sheep?’
Kid: ‘Lambs grow.’
***
COMING SOON: The QUOTE FRIDAY book, the best of four years of quotes including some never before published ones. ‘Watch Out for the Hedgehog‘, on sale May 1st.
For more details and special offers, sign up to our Watch Out for the Hedgehog mailing list to stay up to date.
***
For more Quote Fridays, check out:
- ‘Your boyfriend many many love?’ – February 1st 2012
- ‘Achoo achoo?’ – January 25h 2012
- ‘YOU ATE MY STAR?!’ – January 18th 2012
- ‘KUNG FU PANTIES’ – January 11th 2012
- ‘Oh my God, I’m YAWDA!!’ – January 4th 2012
- ‘Do you Obama?’ – December 21st 2012
- ‘YOU are OUT of the line!’ – December 14th 2012
- ‘He’s on a date.’ – December 7th 2012
- ‘Are you many many crazy?’ – November 30th 2012
- ‘I rolled too far.’ – November 23rd 2012
- ‘Robot Making Class.’ – November 16th 2012
- ‘Throw in giant spiders.’ – November 9th 2012
- ‘Hey, don’t call people pandas!’ – October 26th 2012
- ‘I am NO potato.’ – October 19th 2012
The Ketchup War 
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