Tuesday Timewasters – 08/14

I’m 28 years old so naturally a lot of my friends are currently popping out babies. Or their wives are. Or their girlfriends. Or their sisters / sisters-in-law / that girl their brother met at a club once and knocked up. Now, while its nice that my friends all have cute tiny humans in their lives and given that I live so far away, I do enjoy seeing a photo or two of them every so often.

Note: A photo OR two. Or three.

Not ten.

Not twenty.

Not entire albums dedicated to the tiny human doing nothing interesting but sitting there…and around picture 47, it’s wearing a hat. Oh my God, it’s wearing a hat. Let’s start a new album.

No.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do like seeing pictures of babies but somewhere between picture 24 of baby sitting and picture 26 of baby sitting-but-leaning-slightly-to-the-left, I grow bored.

Cute pictures of baby covered in food? Ok.

Nineteen pictures of baby covered in food from every angle like a crazed paparazzi? No. Just…No.

Baby smiling? Yes. Twenty-eight photos leading up to baby smiling where baby does NOTHING? No.

Of course, you can’t write to your friends and tell them 10 photos of their baby is probably enough for one day, and so enter Unbaby.Me.

A GENIUS extension for Crome which takes the baby right outta your Facebook newsfeed and replaces it with something far cooler. Like cars or dogs or kites if you’re into that kinda thing.

The best thing about this extension is it’s fully customizable. Get rid of cats, replace them with pictures of George Clooney. Get rid of pictures of your friend’s new car, replace them with pictures of snow. Far more interesting.

By changing the keywords the extension is searching your newsfeed page for, you can pretty much rid your newsfeed of anything cute / annoying / pointless /cats with quotes…WHY are there so many cats with quotes??! You can also change the websites the program gets its replacement images from making your newsfeed a much happier place to be.

Of course, once I have my own tiny human, I shall make albums upon albums upon albums of it doing absolutely nothing…and when that time comes, you’ll all be happy I wrote about this invention and you’ll with thank me and send me flowers.

***

In other, unrelated news but equally worth timewasting upon:

1. Did you know the United States makes up countries? MAKES UP COUNTRIES. Countries such as ‘The People’s Republic of Pineland’, ‘Attica’ and ‘Atropia’. No, seriously.

2. Chinese subtitles for the bootlegged DVD of the The Avengers are just AWESOME.