comedy entertainment funny humor Korea South Korea

‘I just forked my hair’

English: A hairbrush with metal bristles

The relationship I have with my hairbrush is like a relationship with a bad boyfriend, never around when you need it and you unexpectedly step on it in the middle of the night.

Akin to stepping on a rogue Lego piece or bubble wrap in a half asleep jaunt from the bedroom to the bathroom, a hairbrush crunching under my feet always elicits some kind of mangled swear word from my mouth. Although, it is less heart attack inducing than the bubble wrap, which was more of a fight or flight reaction.

The amount of times I’ve been late for work/dinner/drinks at the bar due to the prolonged search for my hairbrush is astronomical. I usually resort to just grabbing a fork in an attempt to convince my hair that ‘fluffy’ is not a good look on me.

I regard both the mystery of the disappearing hairbrush and women’s beauty products in the exact same light, with bewilderment and suspicion. I find the shear range of different women’s lotions and potions to be overwhelming and equally frightening. I mean, besides price, what really makes Product A different from Product B…in the long run…at the end of the day….really….?


I rarely wear make-up. In fact, I don’t actually think I own ANY make-up at all. I have a limited amount of moisturizers and toners littering my bathroom shelves. My face cleanser is a bar of soap and I’m pretty sure my facial moisturizer is just body lotion.

The reasons for the lack of make-up isn’t due to a girl power notion that women shouldn’t have to wear make-up in their daily lives when men don’t. It’s more of a….well….a laziness aspect. I wore make-up before my arrival in Korea on a daily basis. I was one of those people that couldn’t venture to the mall with her foundation and blusher on. Arrival here, however, changed that.

Summers here hit high humidity factors causing make-up to literally melt off your face and the winter…well, in the winter I’m normally trying not to freeze to death so I generally don’t care about what I look like in survival mode. Consequently working out I could gain an extra 10 minutes in bed each morning if I went with the sans make-up look caused me to give up my morning make-up routine altogether.


In Korea, as far as beauty products are concerned, there are two brands staples in my bathroom: Lush, an English company, and Skin Food, a Korean brand. The only problem with buying Lush products is this: they smell so frikkin’ good.

‘You’re very quick at showering.’ – The Canadian One’s idea of a compliment.

But alas, no more. With the recent bonus I received from work and my splurge at the Lush store, my bathroom is now filled with honey and divine smelling products just waiting to be unleashed. Thanks to my shower wash being named ‘It’s Raining Men’, I find myself not only smelling like a princess who fell into a bee hive and didn’t get hurt but also, I tend to break into a dance while singing the old Weather Girls song of the same moniker. Not caring that a slight misstep in the wet-room shower and splat on the tiles I go, my showers have become longer and The Canadian One’s complement no longer applies.

To be fair, you’d think I’d be a little more precarious about the booty shaking in the shower given my history of bathroom related accidents. Having once fallen, knocked myself unconscious and knocked my front tooth clean in half while showering. THEN a year later having a glass shelf of decorative candles fall on me while I was relaxing in the bathtub covering the bathtub, floor, wall, door and my clothes in blood…only required 8 stitches though. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, The Canadian One just last year slipped in the very same shower I dance in, fracturing his elbow and putting him out of commission as a guitarist for a while. It’s worth noting, he was not dancing…or so he says. I wasn’t in the house when it happened. But really, you’d think I’d have a little more sense. Every time I even slip a little, it’s heart attack time…and then, like a goldfish, two seconds later I’ve completely forgotten about it and break into song again.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s quite early in the morning and I’ve got some dancing showering to do. If you don’t hear from me again, you should assume I’ve fallen down.

But before I risk that death-defying feat, first I’ve gotta find that damn hairbrush!

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