‘She’s a ninja!’ – New Quotes Added

Quote Friiiiiday!! YAY!! And what a week it’s been. With the mild surge of not-freezing weather mid week to the now rainy, dreary sky outside my window, it almost feels like I’m home…except at home they’re apparently having a heatwave. Well, a heatwave for Ireland so take from that what you will.

Happy Quote Friday and enjoy the weekend!

I draw a picture on the board. It’s a river with a house on one side and a girl on the other. We’re discussing problems and solutions. We conclude the problem is the girl can’t get home. The solution:

Kid 1: ‘She build a bridge.’

Me: ‘Ok, how?’

Kid 1: ‘She cut the tree and push and bridge.’

Me: ‘Ok…how will she cut the tree?’

Kid 1: ‘Oh, she’s a ninja!’

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Me: ‘How would you make the air in Korea cleaner?’

Kid 1: ‘Plant the trees.’

Kid 2: ‘Kill all the cows.’

Me: ‘WHAT?!’

Kid 2: ‘Teacher, they make the gas. They die. No gas. Clean air.’

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Me: ‘Ok, so you must have problems. Tell me one of your problems.’

Kid 1: ‘Oh teacher my new puppy, everyday, wake me up.’

Kid 2: ‘Yes, like this.’

Kid 2 licks Kid 1’s face.

Me: ‘Eh, no licking…in class….Ok, so her puppy wakes her up everyday. What should she do?’

Kid 3: ‘Kill it.’

Me: ‘We’ll call that plan B.’

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Me: ‘How are you hard-working at home?’

Kid: ‘I prepare the Christmas tree.’

I look at her, confused.

Kid: ‘At Christmas.’

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‘Oh teacher, my puppy, all the time…um….dirty….umm…..dirty……’

Me: ‘Poop?’

‘Yes, poop. Everyday, hot poop!’

Pause

‘Teacher, what’s a water poop?’

I work out she means ‘urine’ and teach them ‘pee’ and ‘urine’.

‘Teacher, my puppy three times a day poop and pee…hot poop!!’

Me: ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Do you hot poop?’

Me: ‘Can we get back to what chores you do at home?’

‘Yes, I clean my puppy’s pee and poop.’

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I draw a boy on the board.

Kid: ‘A frog!’

Me: ‘No, it’s a boy…with big eyes.’

Kid: ‘It’s a frog!’

Next class, the picture is still on the board. A different kid walks into the classroom.

Kid 2: ‘Oh, a frog!’

Me: ‘Dammit!’

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Me: ‘Name something blue.’

Kid: ‘Blue paint.’

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Kid: (while discussing eye and hair color) ‘Teacher, you have mint eyes.’

Me: ‘What?’

Kid 2: ‘He say you have blue eyes. Not mint. Blue.’

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Me: (to kid without his homework book) ‘Where’s your book?’

Kid: ‘I don’t know. It’s a mystery!’

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Kid arrives to class late.

Me: ‘Why are you late?’

Kid: ‘I study…and study…and writing.’

Me: ‘You don’t look happy.’

Kid: ‘I’m sad.’

Me: ‘Why?’

Kid: ‘I don’t like volleyball.’

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Kid: ‘Teacher, I do my homework but….I do my homework and I lose the shooting game. I’m not happy.’

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Kid: ‘Oh teacher, boom the volcano and die the dinosaurs.’

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I show my students a picture of a small, country American school.

Kid: ‘Oh my God, it’s an ant school!!’

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Me: (to student walking out the door) ‘Can you close the door after you?’

Kid goes out the door, closes it and immediately reopens it.

Kid: ‘Can I have a sticker?’

Me: ‘Why?’

Kid: ‘I close the door.’

Me: ‘No, go home…and close the door.’

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I draw a feather on the board.

Kid: ‘Ou, koala candy!!’

I point at the feather.

Me: ‘That’s a feather.’

I draw a leaf.

Me: ‘That’s a leaf.’

Kid shakes his head.

Kid: ‘Same.’

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Me: ‘Ok, so there are three people in the airplane and only two parachutes. The plane has no power. What should they do?’

Kid: ‘One person jump and say ‘For Korea!’ and everyone happy and ‘ouuuuu well done, he’s great.’

Me: ‘So one person should jump and die?’

Kid: ‘Well, maybe he hit a tree….OR A TRAMPOLINE!! And then, he’s ok!’