A serialistion of the popular Quote Friday book: Watch Out For The Hedgehog, four years of hilarious kids’ quotes from the ESL elementary school classroom in South Korea.
Chapter Two: On Historical Events
Me: “What was the first thing Neil Armstrong said when he stepped onto the moon?”
Kid: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Pause
Me: “No.”
***
From American History class:
Me: “Does anyone know what the Sioux Indians did?”
Kid: “Yes, they ate the Pilgrims.”
***
Me: “Why did the Pilgrims go to America?”
Kid: “To have dinner.”
***
Me: “Why did the Pilgrims leave England?”
Kid 1: “To find delicious freedom.”
Me: “Ummmm…..”
Kid 1: “No….religious freedom.”
Me: “Yes.”
Later: Another kid mishears ‘Pilgrims’ as ‘Penguins’, bursts into laughter.
Kid 2: “Teacher, the penguins left England to find delicious freedom!!!”
***
Me: “Who knows about the Mayflower? It brought the Pilgrims, the English people, to America where they met the American Indians and had the first ever Thanksgiving dinner.”
Kid: “Yes teacher, and the next day the Pilgrims killed all the Indians.”
Pause….
Me: “I don’t think it was the NEXT day…”
***
Kid 1: “What’s the chicken’s friend called?”
Me: “A turkey?”
Kid 1: “No no, that’s a movie.”
Me: “It’s a country.”
Kid 1: “No no, teacher, a movie.”
Kid screams, mimics killing people with a knife and laughs manically with a creepy grin on his face.
Me: “Oh wait, Chuckie?”
Kid 1: “YES!”
Me: “Yes, Chuckie is a movie. Turkey you can eat.”
Kid 2: “Ah, yes, it’s a bird, in the oven, long time, it’s nice.”
***
While teaching history on Monday:
Me: “OK so way way way back in time they had no electricity and no lights and no running water, no TV. When do you think way back in time was?”
Kid: “Wednesday!”
***
Me: “OK, so we live in the olden days and we have no cars and no trains and no planes. How do I get around?”
Kid 1: “Walking.”
Kid 2: “Horse and carriage.”
Me: “Excellent. So I’m in Seoul. Where can I go in a horse and carriage?”
Kid 3: “Mexico!”
Me: “From Seoul?!”
Kid 3: “Yes.”
Me: “But why??”
Kid 3: “It’s fun.”
Kid 4: “Oh, it take a long time!”
Watch Out For The Hedgehog, out now at Smashwords (for 50% off at Smashwords, use coupon code ‘HX78J’), Amazon , Barnes & Noble and Kobo.
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