Chapter Three: On World Geography
Me: “What’s your favorite country?”
Kid: “USA.”
Me: “Why?”
Kid: “It’s very big and the economy is strong.”
Me: “I don’t think that’s true.”
Kid: “It is!!”
***
Me: “Where’s London Zoo?”
Kid 1: “Jeju-do.”
Kid 2: “France.”
Kid 3: “Ou teacher, teacher, Mexico!!”
Me: “England.”
Kid 1: “No.”
***
Me: “What’s America famous for?”
Kid 1: “Terrorists.”
Me: “No.”
Kid 2: “Big people.”
Me: “No.”
Kid 3: “New York.”
Kid 2: “No.”
***
The same month of the volcano erupting in Iceland, I started at a new school.
Student: “Teacher, what state in America are you from?”
Me: “I’m not American.”
Kid 1: “I don’t understand.”
Me: “I’m not American.”
Kid 1: “You’re not American?!!”
Me: “I’m from Ireland.”
Kid 2, whispering: “The fire island.”
Me: “That’s Iceland.”
***
Me: “So, why do tourists come to Korea?”
Kid 1: “I don’t know teacher, why did you come to Korea?”
Me: “No, I’m not a tourist. I came to teach English.”
Kid 1: “Tourists teach English?”
Me: “No, what do tourists do?”
Kid 2: “Speak English.”
Me: “Let’s start over….”
***
Me: “OK, so what do you know about Finland?”
Kid: “Xylitol is made there.”
Me: “OK.”
Kid: “Yeah, true, it is a white tree…look, I draw a picture.” He draws a tree. “See?”
Me: “OK.”
Kid: “I’m not lying, Teacher, it’s true.”
Me: “I believe you.”
***
Me: “Name a country in Africa.”
Kid: “South America.”
***
Me: “Name a state in America.”
Kid: “Loveland.”
Me: “What? Loveland?”
Kid: “Yes, it’s a state.”
Me: “No it’s not!”
Kid: “Yes, teacher, my mother and my father go to Loveland and give birth to my brother.”
Pause.
Me: “Your mother and your father went to Loveland in America and had your brother?”
Kid: “Yes…it’s a state.”
I literally couldn’t teach for five minutes I was laughing so much!
***
Me: “When is a strong current good?”
Kid: “Ou teacher, it can give our African friends water!!”
Me: “…?”
***
After I pronounce “either” ahy-ther not ee-ther while reading:
Kid: “In Ireland, it’s ahy-ther?”
Me: “Yes.”
Kid: “Same spelling?”
Me: “Yes.”
Kid: “Same meaning?”
Me: “Yes.”
Kid: “But say differently?”
Me: “Yes.”
Kid: “Like wa-ter and wa-der?”
Me: “Yes.”
Loooong pause.
Other kid, shaking his head: “Irish is strange!”
***
Kid: “Teacher, if North Korea attacks, you will go home, yes?”
***
Kid: “Teacher, your country has no money. They say to IMF give me money please. Beg. Give me money please!”
***
I show my students a picture of a small, country American school.
Kid: “Oh my God, it’s an ant school!!”
***
Kids all have their books open on the wrong page.
Kids: “Teacher, loooooooook, IRELAND!!!”
I look. It’s a page all about Ireland.
Kid: “Teacher, it’s you!!”
Me: “Oh, yeah!”
Kid: “Teacher, boy’s name is Kevin?” (reading the story)
Me: “Eh, yeah, his name is Kevin. Why?”
Kid: “My boyfriend’s English name is Kevin.” (She’s 8)
Later: We listen to the CD reading of the story by an Irish boy with a thick Irish accent.
Entire Class: “WHAT?! WHAT?!! I NO UNDERSTAND!!!”
Me: “Yeah, I’ll just read it to you instead!”
***
Me: “Do you know the United Kingdom?”
Kid 1: “Yes, it’s the same as Lego Kingdom.”
Me: “Not exactly.”
Kid 2: “Oh, a king and queen!! And a wall.”
***
Me: “OK, where am I from?”
Kid 1: “Canada.”
Me: “No!”
Kid 2: “England!”
Kid 3: “Ireland!”
Me: “Yes!! OK, now where is Ireland?”
Kid 1: “Asia!”
Me: “This is Asia!”
Kid 2: “North America!!!”
Me: “North America??!!”
Kid 3: “Europe!!!” (puts his head on the desk!)
***
Kid, (who failed his test) counting the pages left in the book: “Eight pages.”
Me: “Yes.”
Kid: “Teacher, where you live?”
Me: “You mean where do I live in Korea or where is my home?”
Kid: “Your home.”
Me: “Ireland.”
Kid: “In eight pages, you go to Ireland?”
Me: “No. In eight pages, we get a new book.”
Kid: “Oh….”
***
Kid 1: “Teacher, why are you smiling?”
Me: “I’m happy.”
Kid 1: “Why are you happy?”
Me: “Because after this class, I go home.”
Kid 2: “To Canada?”
Me: “I’m not from Canada.”
Kid 2: “Oh Iceland?”
Kid 3: “IRELAND. Teacher live IRELAND!!”
Me: “Yes, I do, but I meant my home here. I’m not going back to Ireland after school.”
***
In my Grade 3 class, I have a Grade 1 student who’s too advanced to be in any other class. She attended my Grade 2 classes when she was in Kindergarten.
Grade 1 little girl: “Teacher, my new name is Erica.”
Grade 3 little girl: “Like America????”
***
I’m talking to one of my more advanced kids in class a little quicker than I speak to the other kids because she understands me.
Kid next to her: “Teacher, you speaking Netherlands??!”
***
Me: “What country do you live in?”
Kid: “Japan!”
Me: “NO!! This is Korea!!”
Kid next to her, pointing at her: “Japan spy!!!”
***
Me: “Where am I from?”
Kid: “Mexico!”
Entire class stares at her.
Other kid, slowly to the first kid: “Ireland.”
***
Kid: “I go to Canada. I see the Canada famous food. I eat the Canada famous food. I step on maple leaves.”
Me: “Have you been to Canada?”
Kid: “No.”
***
Me: “Where’s London?”
Kid: “New York City.”
***
Me: “Where’s San Francisco?”
Kid, looks at map: “Russia?”
***
Me: “Name a country.”
Kid puts up his hand, puts down his hand. Puts up his hand. Puts down his hand. Puts up his hand and nods.
Me: “Yes?”
Him: “KOREA!!”
***
Me: “Do you know Denmark?”
Kid: “Yes, elephants.”
Me: “Elephants?”
Kid: “Yes….Africa?”
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