I really hope CSI NEVER goes through my handbag…

So, The Canadian One asked me earlier for some lip balm and I root out my Nivea stick (he bought me) from my bag and hand it over. It’s then that I realise I have a lot of random cr@p in my handbag and really, do I need all that stuff?

 

photo (54)

 

To do an inventory, I have:

 

1 x Readers Digest, which came in the mail a few weeks ago from a free-due-to-Airmiles points subscription I signed up to and that I took to read while sitting around in the ER recently (long story, they ended up doing a CT Scan on me, have you ever have a CT Scan, OMG, lemme tell you…actually I’m getting off topic, back to my handbag…)

 

1 x Wallet, containing cards, money, receipts, a tiny penguin magnet, business cards, bank cards, September’s transit ticket, notes from The Canadian One and some Korean cards I refuse to give up.

 

1 x Umbrella, I’m Irish, we’re raised that way.

 

1 x half a packet of sugar-free Polo mints. I love Polo mints and I buy them whenever I can as I like mints but hate chewing gum. I once swallowed it and now think I’ll swallow it everytime which makes me look super-awkward when I do actually chew gum. Which I don’t. Ever. I don’t like putting things in my mouth that I can’t swallow.

 

I’ll wait while you say ‘that’s what she said’.

 

Moving on.

 

1 x Bag of JuJubes. The Canadian One packs our lunches every night. Last night he packed me an assortment of healthy nuts. (Do I need to pause again or can we continue?) This morning, I took out the healthy nuts and replaced them with an entire bag of Jujubes.

 

Why?

 

Because I’m an adult and I can.

 

1 x Bag of Lego Candy. I work at a call center, one never knows when one may be either peckish or bored or both.

 

1 x Bag of Almonds. To balance things out.

 

5 x Emergency Ketchup. That’s a thing, right? You just never know when you may need Emergency Ketchup.

 

1 x Bach’s Rescue Remedy. For those ‘of-course-let-me-just-place-you-on-mute-while-you-yell-swear-words-at-me-for-five-minutes’ moments.

 

1 x Nivea Lip Balm. That should be self-explanatory but if not…Google it.

 

English: A Swingline-brand Stapler

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2 x Pens. I was at my manager’s desk the other day and here’s what happened, she pulls open a drawer to get me a Post-it note:

 

Me: “Wow, you have a lot of stationary. I have one pen. Just one pen. And for two days last week, I lost my pen! So technically, for two days, I had nothing.”

 

And

 

Me: “Do you have a stapler?”

 

Her: ‘Yes…Do you?”

 

Me: “No. Can I borrow your stapler?”

 

Her: “Yes.” (handing me the stapler) “One day you’ll have your own stapler.”

 

So now I have two pens in my bag in case the work one ever ‘disappears’ again. It’s also useful for crossing off items on my shopping list.

 

1 x New iPhone earphones. I broke my old ones and paid a crazy amount for these ones. I swore I’d protect them with my life and store them as I would a tiny kitten or my last Rolo. Three weeks late, I find them stuffed into the bottom of my bag. Best laid plans…

 

…lead to buying new earphones.

 

This image shows two whole and a cut green Hay...

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1 x Body Shop perfume sample. It’s glorious but we’re not allowed to wear perfume at work due to allergies. We’re also not allowed nuts, onions or kiwis.

 

KIWIS.

 

All fruit I understand but specifically kiwis? There’s a picture on the door too reminding us NOT to bring a kiwi to work. A picture. It’s almost like ‘Don’t bring kiwis. This is a kiwi. Also this is an onion. Don’t bring those either. Like your drama and your problems, leave them at the door when you come to work.’ It doesn’t say that. But it should.

 

1 x Small cosmetic mirror my friend got me in Spain. The pink disk on the front fell off and it kinda broke but it was a gift and I refuse to toss it.

 

Random paper. I dunno. I get bored at work and doodle.

 

1 x Imigran migraine medicine. I suffer from horrible migraines. I should take Zomig but I ran out so I take it’s not so smart, not so fast, occasionally completely useless cousin Imigran.

 

1 x Contact Lens Case. I wear contacts but at work I wear glasses because I stare at a screen all day in air conditioning. I’m not sure why this is in my bag.

 

2 x Always Infinity Pads. Because they are awesome. And handy. And I’ve had waaaaay too many it’s-been-three-weeks-already?! moments.

 

1 x Motrin. Life is too long NOT to carry painkillers in your handbag.

 

1 x Keys. Without my keys I can’t leave the house, access my desk at work to do my job or…actually I have no idea what the third set of keys is for. Maybe The Canadian One’s friend’s old apartment?…So I guess without my keys I can’t randomly break into someone I don’t know’s apartment. Or should that be someone I’ve not met yet?

 

1 x Tissue. I’m actually surprised that was still in my bag. Usually Louie is all over my bag and pulls the tissue out.

 

And finally,

 

1 x Transit Pass. I don’t drive.

 

Not pictured: My phone (being used to take the picture), my ID badge for work (for obvious reasons) and my Kindle (which is charging).

 

How about you? What’s in your handbag? Hit up the comments below and lemme know!

 

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One thought on “I really hope CSI NEVER goes through my handbag…

  1. 1 sun shade cos I look AWESOME IN THEM
    2 biros because one will not be working and I don’t like the other being lonely.
    3 book material… one to read and two to write stuff… you never know I might be the next Steve Jobs… or Stevenia Jobs.
    4 plys of tissue cos 1 is just too small, 2 is a little more handy, 3 to wipe off seats and 4 makes it even
    5pieces of jewellery cos I don’t like putting on my heavy metal till I reach destination… bus transit alert!!!
    …. and lots of other junk that don’t synchronize with my number rhymes.

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