You will all be happy to know the energy crisis of 2016 has been resolved.
The Red Bull energy crisis that is.
You see, I eat a gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, sesame-free and preservative-free diet (not by choice) and, because The Canadian One is diabetic, we also eat low-carb. Salad. Lots of colorful vegetables. Salad. Fruit. Grains. Salad. Chickpeas. Lentils. Did I mention salad?
Given this, I do not feel bad about my 2 Red Bull a week habit.
Not at all.
Not one little bit.
The Canadian One: “Do you want a coffee?”
Me: “No. I don’t. I wish coffee came cold…and carbonated…and came in a tropical flavor.”
The Canadian: “That’s a completely different drink you are describing. That’s not coffee.”
Me: “No. It’s Red Bull. I want a Red Bull.”
Now, a few weeks ago, I started to noticed stock of Yellow Red Bull dwindling in the local Walmart. Thinking nothing of it except maybe Wally’s was not stocking it anymore, I wandered to the 7-11 across the street to discover they were sporting just the original and no-sugar versions.
A week later, I noticed the convenience store in my work building had only original flavor and a few color flavors and Shoppers had ONLY colored flavors.
I mentioned to The Canadian One I thought something was going on in Calgary with the Red Bull and I started to get suspicious.
A few days later, I mentioned it again.
And then again.
And then last week, I went into full ‘WHAT IS HAPPENING THE RED BULL??’ mode when Shoppers’ designated Red Bull fridge was completely empty and Safeway only had 8 Green Red Bulls in stock.
Like seriously, what bullshit.
Who drinks Green Red Bull? Nobody. That’s why it was the only flavor in stock. It’s like Blue flavor. Why does it exist?
So The Canadian suggested asking Reddit. He loves Reddit. My only interaction with Reddit has been him showing me things on Reddit on his phone.
A quick tutorial on Reddit later and my question is up online.
Lo and behold, within 10 hours, I had heard from someone who works in the building of the old distributors and someone who works for the new distributors, someone who got suspicious like me and emailed Red Bull HQ, several people who had noticed it but not to the point of investigating it, and a bunch of usual suspects complaining about Red Bull in general (bad taste, unhealthy, blah blah blah) that I kinda just glossed over.
Turns out the changeover to the new distributors did not go as smoothly as hoped and there was a supply problem in the west of Canada. The problem has since been resolved and Red Bull shall be winging its way back into stores very shortly.
My excitement at solving this mystery was slightly dampened when The Canadian One pointed out that at any point in the past three weeks, I could have solved this with one question to any of the staff members of any of those stores by asking:
‘Hey, so what’s going on with the Red Bull shortage?’
But my way was more fun.
Now to solve the next mystery: Why were there 4 police cars and an ambulance outside the Wendy’s yesterday?!!