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Day 2: I’m Glad This Is A One Time Deal

A few months ago, after eating in a local restaurant by my house, I awoke in the middle of the night with crippling stomach pains. For next 12 hours, I would intermittently lie on the bed and the floor flat on my back barely breathing due to the pain and then several times an hour rushing to the bathroom to throw up and / or poop blood. Just blood. Nothin’ but blood. I eventually got it together enough to go to the hospital who pumped me full of medication, including Morphine, and it was only at about 3pm I realised I should call my manager at work to let her know I wasn’t coming in…I text my friend instead and got her to tell her, I didn’t trust myself not to say something stupid on the phone.

THIS pain, today, has been worse.

I woke up at 3:29am and was wide awake in zero pain and spent my morning playing with the cat and reading Next Issue.

Louie is never impressed when I wake up and promptly covers his eyes
Louie is never impressed when I wake up and promptly covers his eyes

At around 5am, I napped a bit and at 6am, I took more painkillers. I hung out in bed reading and looking at wedding invitation templates for a while (and emailing them to The Canadian One) and eventually got up at 11am, in a bid to have some soup. And threw up.

Then I ate the soup and threw up all over the floor, twice. I mean, for anyone who’s actually been to our apartment is probably wondering how on earth this happened as our apartment is tiny and you literally can’t make it to the bathroom in less than 3 seconds but meh, I’m as confused as you.

And The Poor New Roomie rushed to my aid and cleaned up the puke from the floor. That was probably the worst part…watching someone else clean up your puke…and the action of throwing up with stitches in my mouth. I would not say positive things about that either.

Deciding it was maybe the blood swallowing in my sleep or the masses amounts of painkillers I’ve been taking, I stopped taking the painkillers as I technically felt fine. I know what you’re thinking, ‘because of the painkillers’….I’ll give you a moment to roll your eyes and predict how the rest of my day went.

Anyway, so I’m looking at my mouth with a flashlight, because that’s what you do right, you want to look at it, and I realise, holy sh*t, my crown is missing from one of my other teeth…and it all comes back to me why my dentist was explaining to me about my crown while I was high on sedatives yesterday. He took it. He took my crown! A quick call later, and I’d explained that my pain is ok (because it was at this point), that I have weird taste and smell from my mouth which I was assured may be normal but if I want I can pop into the dentist anytime tomorrow for a checkup and I booked an appointment to reclaim my crown. If Game of Thrones was this easy, I probably wouldn’t watch.

Photo by CTV

Next up was a call to my manager to ask for the crown-day off work, some accidental swearing and a quick apology (for swearing) followed and then my assurance to her I would be sending out an email about The Amazing Race Canada tomorrow. I was on a roll. I was getting things done. My work sponsors The Amazing Race Canada and so we’re running some employee games revolving around it. I’m the chief get-people-enthusiastic-about-it person for my team. I’m sure there’s a better title for it than that. I’ll ask my manager. But I basically just send out reviews of each episode and remind people to vote for their favorite to win next week. And then remind them again. And then stalk them until I know they’ve done it.

And no, I don’t work for Mentos.

But wouldn’t that be awesome?!!

Moving on.

After all this, I was feeling good. I feel like I could eat. Which is what I did.

Then I threw up again. And again. And then again. In the bathroom this time though, GO ME!

I gave up on eating, being awake and my planning viewing of the last 5 episodes of season 5 of White Collar (yay, they got six more!) and went back to bed. I stayed there (with Louie for company) in ungodly pain, having taken no more painkillers, until about 1 hour ago when The New Roomie and The Canadian One convinced me to take some painkillers…and brought me ginger ale….then The Canadian One had to shake the ginger ale in a jar to get all the bubbles out because I very quickly realised why my dentist said no carbonated drinks.

photo (13)

And so here I am, still in my pajamas, at 8:41pm, still sitting next to Louie (who’s been with me all day and had to be coerced not to walk in the puke…or lick the blood pool off the bed…) having only had a 1/4 mason jar of ginger ale in the past three hours and waiting for The Amazing Race to come on.

Lessons learned today:

  1. Take your painkillers. DO it. Do it even if you don’t want to. Do it. At one point I was in so much pain I started sweating. SWEATING. Our heat isn’t on and there’s a snowstorm outside (for God’s sake Calgary!) and I’m lying in bed sweating. It went away. I’m normal temperature now. But my cheeks have puffed up. I’m starting to look a little squirrel-like.
  2. Do not trust that being on painkillers means you don’t have to take painkillers because you’re no longer in pain. That’s stupid.
  3. Always look in your mouth after oral surgery, someone may have stolen something! My crown. They stole my crown. Now it’s just a weird looking tooth with no lid and I still don’t know if it’s safe to touch. But if I touch it, I’ll let you know.
  4. The discovery that there are stitches in your mouth will be momentarily odd for you until you realise, logically, they should be there. Resist the urge to poke them with your tongue. They say not to. I did. I couldn’t help it.
  5. They tell you not to drink carbonated drinks for a reason. If you don’t believe me, try it.
  6. Whatever you do, always, ALWAYS try your best not to puke on your very fluffy cat. ALWAYS.
  7. Switch with salt water a lot. Swish swish swish. Gently. Swish gently.

Hopefully tomorrow’s update will include the words ‘I finally had a shower’ and ‘I no longer look like I had cotton balls stuck in my cheeks’. Wish me luck!

For more information on my Wisdom Teeth Journey, check out:


4 replies on “Day 2: I’m Glad This Is A One Time Deal”

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