comedy funny humor

Parents lie?! No?! REALLY?!

I read this: ‘Most Parents Lie To Their Children’ (BBC News)…

Deutsch: Logo des Fernsehsenders BBC World News.
Deutsch: Logo des Fernsehsenders BBC World News. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…and thought, well, obviously….Did the BBC run outta things to write about this week?

I mean, there’s another article on there regarding how alcohol has a detrimental effect on people’s sleeping habits.



(Insert roll of eyes here)

It reminded me of how when I was little, my mother would tell my brother and I that the community center nearby our house was the ‘Bad Boys and Girls’ Home’. It was made abundantly clear to us that we shall be vacated from our house and placed there to live if we were in any way naughty.

We would drive past it on the way to the store and my mother would utter ‘There’s the Bad Boys and Girls’ Home’. Every. Single. Time.

To be fair, I was a terrible child. I would throw tantrums in the supermarket knocking everything in sight off the shelves. I would scream like I was being murdered when I couldn’t reach a toy. I once burned all my little brother’s fingertips and tried to smother him when he was a few days old…All this before I was two.

I was sitting quietly watching TV in the living room with my baby brother, mere days old, sitting in a bouncer beside me. My mother leaves us for a minute to pop into the kitchen, she comes back, the baby’s gone. A quick questioning from my mother and shrugs from me, my brother was located: stuffed in the couch under the cushion I was sitting on…

As I got older, I began to wonder what one would have to do to warrant being put in the Bad Boys and Girls’ Home because clearly trying to kill my younger sibling didn’t do it.

It wasn’t until years later, when I attended a disco there, that I realized it was just an empty hall filled tacky decorations and 13 year olds standing awkwardly against the walls eyeballing each other with suspicious looks.

A photo of lasagne
Lasagne (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Other lies my mother told me included Santa can see you (in my day, there was no elf on a shelf, a simple ‘HE’S WATCHING AT. ALL. TIMES.’ pretty much did it), ‘if I don’t pull your tooth out, The Tooth Fairy won’t come’, ‘if you don’t go to sleep The Tooth Fairy / Easter Bunny / Santa won’t come’, the over-use of the word ‘maybe’…which I soon learned actually meant ‘no’…and that ‘lasagna is just flat spaghetti’, told to us in an effort to get us to eat lasagna.

It worked.

Now I love lasagna…and have a slight fear that there’s an old man out there in a red suit watching my every move.

Are you a parent? What do you lie about? Or what did your parents lie to you about? Hit the comments below and let us know!

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