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comedy entertainment funny humor Korea South Korea timewasters

Tuesday Timewasters – Did You Know About THIS?!! – Korean Theme Parks 09/11

***This article contains sexual references…if you think this will offend you, we suggest you stop reading now…OK, wait, you can read the first half of the article pretty safely but after that, you should probably leave. Don’t say TKW didn’t warn you and don’t email us complaining, please…Hi Mam!***

Did YOU know that there’s a park dedicated to toilets and poop near Seoul? Or a theme park dedicated to sex down south?…South Korea that is.

If not, then read on, my friend, read on.

There used to be a time when I would scrunch up my face at the mere mention of going to a sculpture park. I would say, ‘Ew, what? A sculpture park? And what can we do there? Will there be a rollercoaster? Candy? Alcohol? No? Then what’s the point?’. But alas, no more. Now, ohhhhh now, living in Korea has changed all that. Now, when someone mentions an excursion to a sculpture park I say, ‘What kinda sculpture park?’

Let me explain. You see here in Korea, we have a plethora of weird and wonderful sculpture parks. From the wonderful ice sculptures of Taebaek:

‘Luke, I am your ice sculpture’

To the weird bronze sculptures outside shopping malls:

To….this:


And then there’s the newly opened park revolving around toilets and Loveland, a theme park dedicated to sex.

…No, seriously.

Let’s start with the toilet park.

Based in Suwon, a mere 40 minutes from Seoul, and opened this past July 4th, ‘The Restroom Cultural Park’ is a park dedicated to all things…well, toilet related. There are bronze statues of people doing their business in the open:

And in a traditional house:

Also included on the trail around the park are ancient Korean flush toilets, Roman-style toilets, European bedpans and all the fun facts about poop you can just about stand.

Now, you maaaaaaay be thinking, WTH? But alas, this actually does have an interesting backstory to it. Firstly, the park is dedicated to the former mayor, Mayor Sim Jae-Duck, who died in January 2009. Mayor Sim was lovingly nicknamed ‘Mr. Toilet’ by the Korean people and not without its merits. Word has it, Sim was born in a toilet in his grandmother’s house and while in office, he became obsessed with public restroom cleanliness and hygiene. Everyone’s got a hobby, let’s not judge.

He founded the World Toilet Association in 2006 and devoted his life to ensuring everyone had access to clean public toilet facilities right up until his death. He was so enamored with toilets and all things toilet-related that he had his original house demolished and rebuilt as the world’s only toilet-shaped home.

Although that’s not where the toilet-fun ends on a trip to Suwon. The town also boasts many public restrooms as tourist attractions as seen in this tourist map:

I do have to say, having gone to pee in many a bathroom here in Korea, my favorite one was the one at the top of Seoul Tower. Not only is the view FANTASTIC, the place is clean and has some kinda glittery, disco ball feel to it. The Canadian One tells me in the men’s, the urinals are against the windows so you can go about your business and not miss any of the view.

***

Another interesting park Korea has to offer is, Loveland, a sex theme park situated on Jeju Island, an island off the south coast of Korea.

‘As the only sexual theme park in Korea Jeju Loveland is a place where sexually orientated art and eroticism meet. Jeju Loveland breaks the traditional taboos surrounding sex, and is a place where the visitor can appreciate the natural beauty of sexuality.’ – from their website

That pretty much sums it up really. I went there on an organised trip during a five-day break to Jeju around two years ago and found it an incredibly intriguing experience. Opened in November 2004 and designed by Hongik University students, Loveland truly is a MUST-SEE attraction if you’re in Jeju!

Giant Marble Penis which squirts liquid every so often…It’s worth knowing, there’s also a picture of me having climbed on top of it and standing on it but I didn’t wanna have to caption a picture ‘Me on top of a Giant Cock’…My mam reads this site! Hi mam!

I also once went to a sex museum in Amsterdam but that’s probably a story for another time.

Still got time to waste? For more Timewasters, check out:

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comedy entertainment funny humor kids Korea quotes South Korea

‘He said I am sweet potato!’ – Quote Friday 06/29

Quote Friday: A round-up of the best quotes from my elementary school kids in South Korea this week!

Some school-related news: this week marks Open Class being upon us…today in fact…in T-60 minutes. For those who don’t know, Open Class is where all of my classes I teach across two days are combined into just 5 classes via time not level…where’s the logic, really?!!…and then the parents and other teachers from the school get to come in, watch the classes, take notes and grade me on how well I do…yep….so that’s happening today. Due to this, Quote Friday is being posted now, as oppose to later as the plan for today is 1) Do Open Classes, 2) Do Not Freak Out, 3) Go home, get changed, get The Canadian One to buy me dinner and copious amounts of alcohol….4) Wake Up Saturday Afternoon.

And so I present: Quote Friday!

I get the sneaky suspicion my kids are getting tired of my reminders that Open Class is almost upon us.

Me: ‘Ok, so on Friday it’s Open Class.’

Kid: “WE KNOW!’

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Giving warnings about Open Class, pointing to the three naughtiest boys in my class:

Me: ‘You, you and you…’

Kid: ‘Shut up?’

Pause

Me: ‘Well, yes be quiet.’

***

Me: ‘What must we remember for tomorrow?’

Kid: ‘Speak in medium voice.’

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Talking to my Grade Twos:

Me: ‘Ok I’m going to take your books…’

Kid: ‘You take my book??!!!’

Me: ‘And give it back to you tomorrow.’

Kid: ‘Why?!!!’

Me: ‘Because I think you will forget your book.’

Kid: ‘No. I remember.’

Me: ‘Ok. You won’t forget?’

Kid: ‘No.’

Me: ‘You’re sure?’

Kid: ‘Yes.’

Me: ‘Ok but if you forget your book I’ll minus you three stickers.’

Pause

Kid: ‘You can have my book.’

***

A kid walks into class, eyes the newly decorated back wall of the classroom and looks at me.

Kid: ‘For mommy and daddy?’

***

Me: ‘For Open Class, you will work in pairs. There will be 15 students…’

Kid: ’15 people? One people solo?’

***

Me: ‘Write down a problem and two solutions.’

Kid: ‘I don’t have money. I really want money. Let’s call my mom.’

***

Me, telling a kid off: ‘You know if you say what what what it’s very bad, it’s not very nice.’

Pause

Kid, eyeing me suspiciously: ‘But…teacher just say…’

***

Me: ‘I said…’

Kid: ‘You sad?!!!’

Me: ‘What?’

Kid: “Why teacher sad?!!’

Me: ‘What?!’

Kid: ‘Teacher say, I sad.’

Me: ‘I SAID…not SAD…I’m not sad, I’m fine.’

***

Kid: ‘In fall, I go hiking.’

Kid next to her: ‘Ouuuuu leaves!’

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Kid: ‘Teacher, look I make!! At school! It’s a Christmas card.’

Me: ‘It’s June!!’

Kid: ‘I know. At Christmas I give to mommy!’

***

Regarding Open Class:

Kid: ‘Mommy and daddy books?’

Me: ‘No, mommy and daddy don’t get books.’

Kid: ‘Mommy and daddy stickers?’

Me: ‘No, mommy and daddy are watching the class not doing the class.’

Kid: ‘No stickers?’

***

Me, describing a spider from the book: ‘It has big, black eyes. It is small. It has fur. It is cute…’

Kid: ‘IT IS NOT CUTE!!’

***

Regarding a ‘hamster’ flashcard I’d just given him:

Me: ‘Where’s your flashcard?’

Kid: ‘I don’t know.’

Me: ‘Give me the flashcard!’

The kid takes the flashcard out of his desk and holds it up.

Kid: ‘But I want. I can have?’

Me: ‘No, you cannot.’

Kid: ‘But it’s so cute!’

***

I come back from the bathroom and the giant TV mounted on the wall is shaking.

Me: ‘Why is the TV shaking?!’

Kid: ‘It’s happy! It’s happy so it shake!’

She’d run into it accidentally but still, good answer.

***

A kid yells an answer at me.

Me: ‘Why are you yelling at me, I’m right beside you?!’

Kid repeats answer, whispering.

***

Kid: ‘Teacher, smell my pencil.’

Holds out pencil.

Me: ‘Um, no.’

***

Kid, looking at my coffee: ‘Is it like medicine?’

***

I hold up a picture of a hippo.

Me: “What is it?’

Kid: ‘People…no…wait…no…’

***

From a written task: ‘This is my mom. She’s in the dad.’

***

I hold up a picture of a whale.

Me: ‘What is it?’

Entire class: ‘I don’t know. I don’t know.’

One kid: ‘Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale. Whallllllllllllllle. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale.’

***

From a written task, describing her friend: ‘She likes brutal.’

Me: ‘She likes brutal? What?’

Kid mimes killing and stabbing.

Me: ‘Oh, violence….v-i-o-l-e-n-c-e.’

***

Kid: ‘Teacher, Friday, Open Class, I don’t come.’

Me: ‘What?! Why not?! You have to come. I need an even amount of students!’

Kid: ‘I am the only boy.’

Me: “You’re the only boy everyday, that’s not a valid excuse!’

***

Me: ‘What can you do in Winter?’

Kid: ‘Ohhhh ummmmm teacher….ummmm….it….snow….and ummm….ohhhhhhh play…..um…….snow……..SNOW SURVIVOR!!!’
Kid 2: (looking at her friend) ‘Snowfight.’
***
Kid: ‘My school teacher called me…um….고구마….It’s potato’s brother.’
Me: ‘고구마 is a sweet potato. Your school teacher called you a sweet potato?!’
Kid: ‘He said I am sweet potato!’
Me: ‘Why?’
Kid: ‘I DON’T KNOW!!’
***

By the time third period rolls round, I usually have an iced latte in the class and all the students know the unspoken (and occasionally very spoken) rule of DON’T TOUCH TEACHER’S COFFEE…which also encompasses Don’t knock over Teacher’s coffee and Do not drop anything into Teacher’s coffee.

This rule especially comes into play when we’re playing ball games in class or the kids are running about.

On Wednesday, a kid wrote on the board and on her way back to her desk, bumped into the desk with my coffee on it. The kid was fine.

Me: ‘Be careful of the coffee.’

Her Friend: ‘TEACHER….(pointing at her friend but looking at me sternly)…Are you ok?!!’

Me: ‘Sorry, yes, are you ok?’

Kid: ‘Yes.’

Me: ‘Good. Be careful of the coffee.’

***

 Find more Quote Friday’s here:

And many more in the Index and on The Wall!

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comedy entertainment funny humor internet random timewasters websites

Tuesday Timewasters – 06/26

Soooo you may remember in one of my very first Tuesday Timewasters, I wrote about a website called The Doghouse Diaries. Wellllll, when I first wrote about them, they were small with not many comics online but NOW, now after a few months, they have lots….so many in fact that choosing my top 5 10 15was a difficult task. But alas, you’ll be happy to know, I managed it.

Happy Timewasting!

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comedy entertainment funny humor Korea random South Korea

Thursday Short: What I SHOULD have done at Costco today

English: Costco Wholesale Corporate Logo

Fearing imminent laptop overload, I went to Costco before school today to pick up a new hard drive. I figured it would be a lengthy process as A) I live in Korea, B) I’d lost my card and was trying to figure out how to explain that to the customer service staff in English and C) statistically things you have to do in a hurry will always take twice as long.

Now, whereas I made the elementary mistake of buying a coffee right before I went into Costco thus requiring the staff to frantically hand signal to me that drinks weren’t allowed leading to me having to knock back half the coffee and then throw the rest away, what I actually should have done for the ten minutes that I was planning on being in the store was this:

Checked the damn thing into a locker and resumed drinking it on my way out roughly TWELVE MINUTES LATER.

It was one of those moments of walking out of the store, catching a glance at the locker area and thinking….ohhhhhhh…yeeeeahhhhh, that’s what I shoulda done with the $4 coffee I just bought.

Lesson learned.