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Thursday Timewasters – 05/10

I’ve spent a lot of this week reading the news as my Kindle battery died and there was nothing much else to do as once it was charged, I kept forgetting to bring it with me on the train. And so, I present, my favorite news items of this week:

(Source)

Following hot on the heels of Carolina’s ban on same-sex marriage, with in 24 hours, come this little item…..I’m not American, but I’d vote for you again!

On a related note, I would urge everyone to watch this video. Ketchup World, this is Shane. This past Monday marked the one year anniversary of the sudden and horribly tragic death of his boyfriend, Tom (29 years old). If anything ever happened to The Canadian One, I’d be lost. If anything ever happened to The Canadian One and then THIS happened…there are no words to describe how I would feel. This is Shane’s Story.  

Moving onto dinosaur news, my favorite kind of news!

(source)

I got nothing to say about this one but bahahahahahahahaha!

Imagine the pitch: ‘Eh, we need funding?’ ‘For what?’ ‘A study on dinosaur farts….’

In other, dinosaur related news, a variation of websites have carried the headline ‘Toddler encounters dinosaur and reacts accordingly’ thanks to this little video in which two year old Zack sees a dinosaur and reacts the way we ALL would, let’s admit it!

Yet more dinosaur related news:

(source)

AND (not dinosaur realated)

(source)

Now, you may think these are strange but a few years back, while in England  as a student and working part-time at a call center, a co-worker of mine had a rather interesting call. Hearing her giggling behind us, we all started to look out of our little booths to peer at what was so funny at her desk. As it turned out, the caller she’d been tasked with interviewing was named ‘Mr TickleMyFancy’. Apparently, as a joke and to win a bet (OF COURSE!), he’d changed his name to that. Unfortunately, during that time, he’d purchased a car and, having to use his legal name to sign the papers, poor Mr. TickleMyFancy then got a follow up service call from our call center where he was forced to explain to my giggling friend the origins of his moniker.

And finally:

(Source)

Wait, so, The Pentagon quit The Avengers because of it’s UNREALITY?! Did they not have a small inkling that perhaps this wasn’t going to be the most realistic portrayal of a norse God, a rich playboy in an iron suit, a man who turns into a green giant when he gets angry and a man from the past, frozen in time and thawed out in modern day…none of that made them think it’s perhaps not the most reality based story in the world..? No?

Not done Timewasting? Find more in the Index!

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‘Dino-Aliens! I KNEW IT!!’ – New Quotes Added

I’ve been teaching about the dinosaurs for, oh, about a month now since it appeared in our book as a (very long) unit. Our book has pretty much centered around the fact that either an asteroid and / or a volcano killed this dinosaurs. Some of my students think the dinosaurs just ate each other and others think they got cold and died. All completely valid thoughts. Not one of them questions their religious teachings of ‘God created Man. Dinosaurs just kinda…appeared…and then disappeared.’ Soooo many questions. Here’s what the book has to say on the matter:

Anyone else LOVE the look on the T-Rex’s face?

At home, I spend a lot of time asking The Canadian One questions that randomly pop into my head. I seem to have an obsession as to where the dinosaurs went and frequently ask the question ‘But WHERE did the dinosaurs go??’. I watched a TED Talk recently on how modern dinosaurs evolved into penguins (my favorite animal). If I can find it again, I’ll link it here.

So imagine my surprise this morning, when on my way to work, I read THIS possible-the-best-headline-ever on my iPhone:

Ohhhhh, FoxNews, how you entertain me

And then further research led to this from the day before:

NOW I have even more questions! Could you imagine a T-Rex operating a spaceship? With his teeny arms and giant head? OMG, somebody needs to make a movie about this!

In a related note, my favorite quote from the Fox article would be:

‘Asteroids have us in their sights. The dinosaurs didn’t have a space program, so they’re not here to talk about this problem. We are.’- Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Moving on.

Quote Friday is a short one today. There was a short school day Tuesday, no school Wednesday, and yesterday and today are both test days.  

I walk into class. A kid sits singing the ‘Jaws’ theme tune. I look at him.

Kid: ‘It’s The Zombie King!’

Me: ‘Did you just call me The Zombie King?’

Kid: ‘Yes.’ – without a hint of hesitation

Me: ‘Why?’

Kid: ‘Because you are THE ZOMBIE KING!!’

Me: ‘Ummm…’

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Recently there’s been a spate of things going missing in my classroom and as a result, the present box has been moved.

Kid: ‘Where’s the present box?’

Me: ‘Hidden.’

Kid: ‘Where?’

Me: ‘Well, it wouldn’t be hidden if I told you, would it?’

I go to the bathroom and come back two minutes later.

Kid: ‘It’s under your desk.’

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On my desk are stickers and candy. Kids get stickers if they earn points in class and on Fridays they occasionally get candy. A kid is early to class.

Kid: ‘Can I have a sticker?’

Me: ‘No.’

Kid: ‘I did my homework.’

Me: ‘Ok, sure, have a sticker.’

Kid: ‘Ok, can I trade you one sticker for one candy?’

Me: ‘What?’

Kid: ‘I give you one sticker, you give me one candy.’

Me: ‘You don’t want the sticker?’

Kid: ‘No, I don’t care about stickers. I want candy.’

Me: ‘Then why did you ask for a sticker?’

Kid: ‘To get candy.’

Me: ‘How about I give you a sticker AND a candy?’

Kid: ‘No, I’ll give you a sticker and you give me candy.’

Me: ‘Umm, sure, ok. But I don’t want the sticker back. Keep the sticker and just take some candy.’

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Kid: ‘Can I go to bathroom please?’

Kid 2: ‘Poop or pee?’

Kid: ‘HELP ME!’

Me: ‘Yes, you can go to the bathroom.’

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I walk into class. There’s a boy standing under the TV bracing himself for impact while a girl stands on the other side of the room, aiming a foam dice at him.

Me: ‘Ehhhh…’

Girl: ‘He hit me!!’

I look at the boy. He nods.

Me: ‘Ok, but you can’t throw the dice! You might hit the TV! Or my coffee!….Swap sides. Then you can throw the dice.’

The swap sides, the girl under the TV, the boy by the doors. In the best shot ever, she whacks him in the head with the dice.

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My grade two class, I hand out the 5 page test papers:

Me: ‘No talking during the test.’

Little girl looks really offended: ‘OF course!!’

Little boy flips through the test: ‘Oh teacher, my head is lazy!’

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***Reader Submitted Dino-Pic***