Categories
dog funny humor

Love Daisy xoxo

Dear Shauna,

I hope you remember me. You were my foster mom a year ago. In November 2017, I, along with 47 of my closest friends, were rescued from up north of Alberta in High Level. I was 5 months old. I was listed as a solo orphan on my intake form. There was a CTV newscast about us. I’m featured at 1:42.

I just want you to know, I’m doing great. You chose me a great family and a year later I’ve come a long way from being Bree – AARCS Adoptable Puppy No. A37174273.

Coming to live here was a whirlwind. While I was at your house learning things like how to sit and how to pee outside, my mommy and daddy had just bought their first home and were on the hunt for a puppy to add to their growing brood of three cats. Having gotten two cats from AARCS already, they naturally turned to AARCS for their canine companion. Originally they chose a different dog and applied for him but were told they needed to pick a back-up dog in case the first didn’t work out. On a whim, they picked me as mommy thought I looked like an Andrex puppy she saw on TV growing up. There was one problem though, I had another application pending. They figured they weren’t getting me, I was adorable, I was bound to be scooped up at my first meet-n-greet.

Then an email came. They were told ‘that other dog’ wasn’t suitable – it has CH like my sister Pickles and needed a home with another dog. But there was good news, I was available!

On December 7th 2017, they huddled in the car and had a phone interview outside mommy’s work Christmas party. The following day they had a successful first meet and greet at your house. On the drive over, daddy had to coach mommy about being so near a dog. She was afraid of dogs. I made a beeline for her as soon as she walked in. She sat on the floor with me. She petted me and played with my ears. She kept apologizing to you for getting glitter on your floor. It was from her Christmas party the night before.

They went home and spent the entire night unpacking boxes. They were getting the house ready for the second meet and greet at their home the next morning. They hung pictures. Set up furniture. Displayed Christmas ornaments. They went to bed a few hours before we arrived.

We came over and hung out for a bit. You commented on how the house looked great! You couldn’t believe they’d just bought the house 15 days previously. Mommy smiled like it had looked this great for the past 15 days and hoped I wouldn’t run into down the basement aka box city. Instead, I fell asleep on the floor. You’d kept me up late the night before, you’d had friends over. You asked if they wanted to come pick me up later that day and they both jumped at the chance. The adoption was going through. Mommy had some paperwork to fill in. While you left with me, mommy and daddy rushed out and bought every dog item at Walmart they could find including my new best friend, Foxy!

Best Friends:

  1. Foxy


That afternoon, I moved in.

And thus began my mission to befriend my new family: mommy, daddy, and my cat brother and sisters, Louie, Pickles and Purrkins.

I didn’t like the heat in the house at the start. Having lived outside a lot of my life, I found it hard to adjust to a soft bed and a warm house so I would spend a lot of time on the floor in front of an air purifier mommy bought me that blasted cold air. It was heaven.


But I soon got used to it and began to try to take over the couches and beds and any soft area I could find.


We went for walks and I loved the outside. I struggled on the leash (and still do) but I love the snow so I got a loooooong leash so I could practice recall and diving head first into snow piles.


I enrolled in puppy school where I met one of my fellow puppies from my rescue. Together we learned fun things like walking nicely, listening and THERE WERE TREATS!! If you did exactly or almost exactly or made a valid attempt to do what the teacher wanted, YOU. GOT. CHEESE…..CHEESE!!!

I almost failed because I smiled too much, rolled around too much, tried to befriend all the humans and was labelled ‘a little ditzy’ but eventually I graduated puppy school!


And THEN I joined daycare and became queen of the castle! The daycare people love me and I love being at day care. It’s my favourite day of the week! I even stayed there for three nights when mommy and daddy got stuck in a snow storm and the highway shut down. They couldn’t come get me and daycare took such good care of me. I’m there in the middle, surveying my realm.


Back at home, my mission to befriend my siblings was going…well…ish….I quickly won over one of my sisters, Purrkins. She had grown up with a family dog but was surrendered to AARCS when she and her four kittens were viscously attacked by the same family dog. They ended up with mommy and daddy as a foster group but mommy refused to give Purrkins back! Luckily, Purrkins holds no ill-will towards dogs and loves me. We’re best friends.

Best Friends:

  1. Foxy
  2. Purrkins


I struggled a little with my other sister…and my brother just never comes near me…he’s not featured in this letter…


Then the BEST THING EVER HAPPENED! Mommy signed up to Barkbox and I had new toys arrive in the mail EVERY MONTH. I loved one of my toys, a pigeon I named Pidgy, soooooo much. I took him outside to pee. I napped with him. I brought him all around the house. I showed him my kennel and my bed and where the water dish is. I let him drink water from the dish and nap in my bed when I wasn’t using it. In fact, when Barkbox got wind of how much I loved him, they drew a picture of me with him and sent me a card!

Best Friends:

  1. Pidgy
  2. Foxy
  3. Purrkins (sorry Purrkins….)


I also guard the house. While mommy and daddy watch TV, sleep, or make food I protect us from cars, humans, bunnies, cats, humans with boxes, leaves, birds, smaller humans, other puppies, even smaller humans and halloween lawn decorations. Those things will kill you.

I save us each and every day, Shauna.

EACH AND EVERY DAY.


Actually, that’s a lie…when they make food, Purrkins, Pickles and I stand awkwardly close to mommy get a taster of some early dinner…It only sometimes works but that just means we need to try harder.

The entire AARCS posse! 


With mommy and daddy, we celebrate all the holidays! I’d never celebrated a holiday before so I wasn’t sure what was required. There was Christmas, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and Easter! There are hats and photos and dinners and usually chicken and treats and GIFTS!!! DID YOU KNOW ABOUT GIFTS?? You just wait and wait and it’s like normal day and then a hat gets put on your head and you sit nicely and a picture is taken and then there’s cheese and THEN THERE ARE GIFTS!!


OMG OMG OMG AND SHAUNA, GUESS WHAT?!! THEN CAME MY BIRTHDAY!!!

AND I TURNED ONE!

AND.

I.

GOT.

A.

PUPCAKE.

And a hat. Every holiday has a hat. Humans…I dunno.


In the summer, I learned fetch…kinda…sorta….a little….I mean…I went after the stick, that counts, right?!

Also this year, I ran two marathons! TWO!!! One to raise money for the Calgary Humane Society and one for AARCS!

AND I GOT A MEDAL!!

I look sad but that’s my staring at cheese face. I take cheese very seriously. (I’m also dressed as a unicorn – mommy, daddy, Pickles and I were all unicorns for Halloween!)

I also rode the bus to a party!!

The party was at a bar. I was allowed in. I tried to make friends with EVERY HUMAN I SAW!

It was so much fun. I wriggled out of my collar to mingle but mommy and daddy ran after me after another human stopped me.


At the moment, my favourite things are cheese, the dog park, cheese, making new friends, the snow, cheese, did I mention cheese?

Best Friends:

  1. Pidgy
  2. Purrkins
  3. Socky. My sock mommy’s friend gifted me. It’s a real sock. I love him.

Foxy left. He got a hole and then he got fixed and then he got another hole and then he went away. I patiently await his return. Any day now, he’ll be back and threaten Purrkins’ spot in the Daisy’s Top Three Best Friends List.

This fall, I’ve been working on getting over my fear of water….At first I would jump over puddles and now look at me! I still won’t go into the river but I’m working my way up to it.

Also, Shauna, have you ever seen a duck? They are like birds that SWIM! LOOK AT THOSE DUCKS!! DO YOU SEE THOSE DUCKS? THEY’RE DUCKS!


In the year I’ve lived here I’ve done a lot. I’ve achieved a lot. I’ve eaten many questionable things where mommy was 100% positive I would die. An entire bag of compost. That extension cord. That other cord. All those tissues. Several receipts. Oh oh, that roll of duct tape. She 100% thought I would die from that.

I was on medication to stop me eating my poop for a while.

I also threw up worms on the bed in the middle of the night. They wriggled around on the duvet. Neither mommy nor daddy could eat spaghetti for weeks.

But mostly Shauna, I am writing this to let you know I am happy. I am healthy. I am loved.

And on the one year anniversary of my adoption, I wanted to say thank you to you and AARCS.

Thank you for rescuing me.

Thank you for bringing me to Calgary.

Thank you for picking my parents.

You have changed my whole life.

And I love it.

Love Daisy xoxo

Categories
comedy funny humor

Bunny Versus Barfi

I write to Frightened Rabbit to say hi!
I write to Frightened Rabbit to say hi!

This time last year, The Canadian One and I had been in Toronto for about a week and he was still trying to convince me that Canadians did not call it T-Dot. We were embarking on a trip into the city to see Frightened Rabbit, a Scottish band we both really like, play in a dark bar in a shady area. The Canadian One thought we’d be kidnapped on the walk from the venue to the bar later that night and we spent a good forty-five minutes wandering around looking for a pre-gig place to eat. We settled on a basement bar for fries and cheeseburgers and I wallowed in the fact that having hated my Tim Horton’s earlier in the day, I would never adapt to Canadian culture.

Now, the coincidence of going to see Frightened Rabbit on Easter ‘Bunny’ Sunday didn’t escape me, or my mother who thought it was hilarious, although they did put on an awesome show (the first of two of their shows I would see in 2013). One memorable moment being when the lead singer messed up the words to a song and then just flat out stopped and said “I’m sorry, I’m distracted by a girl in bunny ears at the back just not paying attention to the show…oh wait…no…wait, no she’s working. Sorry!”

Moving on.

Last week, we went over to our neighbor’s (also The Canadian One’s childhood friend and our vet) house for some friendly board game / drinking action. About three hours in, our neighbor’s cat, Barfi (Persian for Snowy) emerged from his hiding spot under the couch. With the declaration of ‘Oh, Barfi’ from our host, The Canadian One lept up, pointed at the cat and said ‘BARFI!’ thus putting him in a solid 4-0 lead in our made-up summer game.

Barfi, incidentally, is one of the most beautiful cats I’ve ever seen. I mean, look at him!

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Isn’t he gorgeous?! Here he is with The Canadian One while we were cat-sitting while The Canadian One tries to prove to me his moniker should be changed to The Cat Whisperer.

The Canadian One lies down and the cat just come to him...
The Canadian One lies down and the cats just come to him…

And here’s Barfi helping get ready for the Stampede in April 2013. A little early, but meh.

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So, here’s what happened: Last summer, Barfi made a bolt for freedom and we were tasked with helping find him. We wandered. We ran. We shook packets of Temptations and called his name. We asked neighbors. We asked passers-by. One of us, dressed in a hoodie and skirt standing as tall as the average teenager, joined a search-party group of teens and accidentally caused another neighbor to retreat from her porch, shut her door, lock it and turn off the lights. Oops.

The Canadian One and I worked as a duo and several times I spotted what looked like a white furred creature in the bushes which would always ALWAYS turn out to be a bunny.

Always.

It’s hard. In Ireland we don’t have bunnies just wandering around doing their bunny stuff thinking ‘I ain’t no pet’ but here they are everywhere!

And thus began ‘Bunny versus Barfi’, whereby the spotting of a bunny while The Canadian One and I were together and being the first to yell ‘BUNNY!’ would garner the yeller one point whereas the spotting of Barfi would earn you three points. We ended 2013 with me far far faaaar in the lead and so this year The Canadian One has come back fighting and is already ahead with four points but fear not my little Ketchups, I will win this year as I did last year!

Incidentally, I spotted the never-before-seen-mythical-trio of bunnies…a TRIO…a month ago but alas, as The Canadian One and I weren’t together I can’t claim it.

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Yells of ‘DOESN’T COUNT!’, ‘THAT’S NOT A BUNNY! MINUS A POINT!!’ (mainly because I thought both a small dog and a small gnome-like garden ornament of a bunny were both really bunnies) and ‘BUNNY!!!’ became commonplace around our house last summer and now this year, the ante has been upped and the game is ON with The Canadian One wanted to reclaim the title and me wanting to keep the title of ‘Awesome Bunny-Spotter’. Keep up with the current score at the top on the right of your screen.

I. WILL. WIN. 2014.

Have you and your friends ever come up with a stupid game to play? Lemme hear about it below so I know The Canadian One and I aren’t the only ones in the world playing a highly competitive, bunny spotting game!

(Oh and Barfu was found and returned safe and sound a week after he went missing!)

Categories
Cat Week funny humor

This week, last year, was CAT WEEK!!!

Does anyone else remember cat week? This week, last year, was CAT WEEK!

CAT. WEEK.

A week filled with all things CAT ‘cos God knows, there’s nothing the internet loves more than cats.

And David Hasselhoff.

No, I don’t get it either.

Last year, I had no cat. Now I have a cat and every day is like frikkin cat week. He’s recently learned how to sleep in the bedroom at night-time without waking me up, paws on either side of my face, licking my lip and meowing at me.

Now, when I saw recently, I mean Friday. The Friday just gone. Today is Monday.

It was weird but he’s past the face licking, hair chomping, random pouncing stage and onto the scaring the s*&t out of me stage.

The other night, I was home alone and the house was quiet. I walked into the bathroom and felt something caress my hand. I screamed and then turned to see Louie, sitting on the edge of the sink in the darkness, reaching out a paw to touch me.

Argh! Anyway, here he is doin‘ his cat stuff:

Playing with his favorite toy, the printer. He'll run from the other side of the house when he hears it!
Playing with his favorite toy, the printer. He’ll run from the other side of the house when he hears it!
Getting in on The Canadian One's birthday celebration. One popped. It was HILARIOUS!
Getting in on The Canadian One’s birthday celebration. One popped. It was HILARIOUS!
Hiding in the shopping
Hiding in the shopping
Inspecting the bathtub after a shower. His daily routine. Sometimes he comes in the shower with me. It's weird.
Inspecting the bathtub after a shower. His daily routine. Sometimes he comes in the shower with me. It’s weird.
Balancing above my head
Balancing above my head
Helping me write a novel
Helping me write a novel

Most Saturdays,  I get up before The Canadian One, open the bedroom door to let the cat in while I go make a smoothie and watch Castle and The Mentalist. When I come back, I’m always faced with this:

Morning One

Morning Two

We put a collar on him once...just once....
We put a collar on him once…just once….

He sleeps like a person and snores. Loudly.

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Doing what he does best...Sleep
Doing what he does best … sleep
Categories
comedy entertainment funny humor

Louie Vrs The Box

So, The Canadian One sends me this video while I’m at work:

Then later, sitting around at dinner, this happens:

Me, looking at Louie: “We should give him a box.”

Him: “He won’t get in a box.”

Me: “Let’s give him the Cheerios box!”

We empty out the box of Cheerios we just bought on Sunday and toss the box on the floor.

Within two seconds:

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Him: “Oh my God, he’s in the box!!!”

Categories
entertainment funny humor random

How To Write With A Kitten

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So, four months ago we moved to Canadaland from Seoul and, almost two months ago, we added to our family in the form of a very small, astronomically fluffy, likes-to-steal-and-eat-people’s-croissants Kijiji kitten. And oh, how my life has changed. I’m now the girl who sneaks ninja-like down the hallway so as not to alert the cat to my awoken presence in the middle of the night. I can’t leave food for more than five seconds without it being commandeered by Captain Louie and everything I own has been reclassified as a ‘toy’.

As for writing, there’s one very important thing you need to remember about writing with a kitten in the house:

You can’t. You won’t. You can try but you won’t success.

At all.

And here’s why:

Cats. Don’t. Care.

They don’t care that you want to write or that you want to watch TV or lie on the couch. They don’t notice that you would love to sleep in longer than 6am in the morning on a Sunday or eat dinner without the background of constant meowing becoming the new white noise in your apartment.

And most of all, they don’t care when you want to write. This article took far longer to write than it should have. Why?

This.

Helping

So far this morning, Louie (my five month old kitten) and I played the Ping-Pong game of sit on laptop, get picked up and placed on floor, jump on laptop, get placed on the floor, try to eat laptop, get placed on floor and around and around we went until he spotted a piece fluff that held his interest for more than five seconds.

In his first few days of living with us, he was afraid of everything.

Those pretty little jingle balls cats love?

Terrified of them.

Feather-on-a-stick toy?

Scampers from the room like it was the end of the world.

A tiny ant on the floor?

Don’t even get me started.

And the bathtub?

Well….

Wet Cat

To be fair, look at what we did to him. If that’s not a ‘you wait til I grow up I will kill you in your sleep’ look, I dunno what is.

Being thrown onto the bed doesn’t suit him either. Check out his best WTF look he constantly gives me:

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What’s he NOT scared of? I hear you ask.

The water bottle. The lamps. My handbag. The printer. He could be anywhere in the apartment, doing anything and as soon as the printer whirrs to life, he’s next to it examining it like it’s a crime scene. Oh, and the screen door, his obsession with the screen door is growing by the day. Here he is doing his daily impression of Spiderman:

Spidercat

He’s also gotten pretty nifty at hide-and-seek:

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As for cooking…well, it’s a little hard when he insists on doing this in the middle of the kitchen:

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And he cries. Oh my goodness, has he nailed the crying malarkey. At the beginning he was so quiet, I though there was something wrong with him. Now, like a two-year-old who’s discovered the word ‘no’, he’s learned can cry and wants to practice as much as possible. I can’t pee without a scratching on the door followed by a high-pitched whine. At night, he screams so loudly, you’d swear he was being stabbed right there in the comfort of our living room.

Don’t get me wrong, when he sleeps, he sleeps. And sleeps. And sleeps. One minute he’s playing, the next he’s out, but don’t start thinking when they sleep it’s easier to write.

It’s not.

It’s just more challenging.

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In saying all that, before we had a cat, when I heard a noise in the middle of the night, I’d immediately think ‘murderer’!

Now when I hear a noise in the middle of the night, I think ‘I really hope that wasn’t my laptop hitting the hardwood floor’.

For more on Louie check out Meet Louie.

Categories
comedy funny humor

Meet Louie

Or Martin Luther King, if you ask my mother. I really hope when we have children she doesn’t nix our name and just call the baby whatever she wants.

On Thursday night, The Canadian One and I sat around with our friends, the vet and the physics teacher, and we decided we wanted a kitten. On Friday, we picked up our kitten.

Ketchup World, meet Luther Sharktopus, or Louie for short, the newest addition to our family.

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It’s worth noting, while we toyed with the name Sharktopus in jest, it’s the name our vet friend insists on calling him and as such, will most likely be the name listed on all his vet paperwork.

Now, while I do love little Louie, I do have an issue with him being determined to wake us up at 8am in the morning by crying…then playing…then peeing on the bed.

Two days in a row.

Two. Days. In. A. Row.

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Although for a kitten who loves to play, he certainly sleeps a lot.

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Sleeping on The Canadian One on night one
Sleeping on The Canadian One on night one

About a year ago, my mother took part in a knitting campaign that involved knitting lots and lots of small hats to fit on Innocent smoothie bottles:

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My mam sent me a few examples of her handywork to admire.

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With Louie sleeping so much, we’ve found a new use for all the little, tiny hats.

My Cat in Hats

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Also last night, he caused a mild panic in our house. We searched everywhere. Under everything. In everything. Behind anything he could get behind. Nothing. Nowhere. 24 hours after getting him, he was gone.

Or not.

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Dammit!