‘Kids can be evil.’ – Quote Friday 08/31

The best of this week’s quotes from my elementary students in South Korea (and some thrown in from friends too)

And so ends my time at my current elementary school. A year has passed and a new school with new students awaits me on Monday. Having spent the day clearing out my classroom, watching the first 45 minutes of Monster’s Vrs Aliens three times and convincing my co-teacher that tossing out over 100 brand new books into the trash was not a good idea, I’d say my last day went quite well.

***

Recruiter: ‘How do you deal with naughty kids cos kids….kids can be evil.’

***

Me: ‘Can I see my contract?’

Employer: ‘Why would you want to see your contract?’

Me: ‘I’ve not read it yet.’

Employer: ‘Is there a problem?’

Me: ‘No, I’ve just not seen it yet.’

Employer: ‘I can’t show you yours…but I can show you someone else’s.’

***

After disappointing me by telling me I can’t print the stupid thing he just said:

The Canadian One: ‘Don’t worry, I’ll say something stupid by the end of the week.’

***

From The Canadian One’s kindergarten class:

Jets are flying by. We are close to an airport.

One kid: ‘Teacher, is that Zeus??’

Other kids: ‘Typhoon!!’

***

Me: ‘LUCAS STOP POKING KATE!!’

***

Kid: ‘Is b-boy a job?’

***

Me: ‘Name a job.’

Kid: ‘Mayor!!’

***

Kid, regarding the kid next to her: ‘TEACHER, he touching my pencil.’

I look. The other kid’s not doing anything.

Kid: ‘TEACHER, he touching my pencil….He touching MY BOOK…!!!’

I look again. The other kid looks at me and shrugs.

Kid: ‘TEACHER!!!’

Brainy Smurf

Putting in Oscar worthy performances

Me: ‘Alright, just stop whatever you’re doing. Stop touching her things.’

***

Me: ‘Who’s your favorite actor?’

Kid: ‘A Smurf.’

***

Trying to guess what the treasure is in the story we’re reading:

Me: ‘What’s the treasure?’

Kid: ‘It’s a golden penguin.’

I look at him. He’s pointing to the last page nodding.

Kid: ‘Golden penguin.’

***

To a class I genuinely think are a nightmare:

Me: ‘Next week you will have a new teacher.’

Kids: ‘Why?’

Me: ‘Jenny teacher will go to a new school.’

Kid 1: ‘Home?’

Me: ‘No, new school.’

Kid 2: ‘Are you happy?’

Me: ‘No, of course not. I’ll miss you guys.’

Kid 2, eyeing me suspiciously: ‘Why you smile?’

Me, smiling: ‘I’m not smiling.’

Kid 2 stares at me.

***

Me: ‘What makes you relaxed?’ (question in the book)

Kid: ‘Studying English makes me relaxed.’

Me: ‘Really?…’

Kid: ‘Yes, it’s very fun.’

***

Me: ‘Ok, you need to think of three questions you’d ask your favorite movie star if you met him or her.’

Kid: ‘What’s in the stadium?’

Pause.

Me: ‘What…stadium?’

***

While watching the opening credit of a movie, the 20th Century Fox logo comes on.

Little boy, reading: ‘Fox? (pointing at the screen) ‘WHY FOX?!!!’ 20th Century Fox CGI logo used from 1994 to 20...

***

Kid: ‘How do you spell TV?’

Kid next to him: ‘TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV!!!!’

***

We’ve been reading a story about a parrot named Pippin who runs away and then eventually comes back. While watching ‘Rio‘:

Little boy, pointing at the parrot on the TV: ‘PIPPIN!!!’

***

Guy, describing a girl: ‘She looks like a creme egg.’

***

I’m on the phone with The Canadian One after a job interview:

Me: ‘Hang on…’

I put the phone at my side and placed an order at the coffee shop.

Me: ‘Hello?’

Him: ‘Are you at Manoffin (a muffin shop I frequent whenever I pass one)?’

I freeze.

Me: ‘HOW did you know that?’

Him: ‘You just ordered a latte and a glazed…thing…’

I looks around me holding my iced latte and glazed banana muffin convinced he could see me from somewhere.

***

The Canadian One and his friend are discussing music:

‘Michelle Pfeiffer killed rap metal.’

***

Kid: ‘Teacher, your boyfriend name?’

Me: ‘Ian.’

One kid looks at me, then stands up, walks across the room to where I keep all the Grade One workbooks and starts sifting through them. He pulls one out of the stack and holds it up.

Kid: ‘Like this?’

I look at the book. It’s from my student, Ian.

Me: ‘Yes…How…did…you know that I have a student called Ian?’

Kid: ‘I don’t know.’

He puts the book back.

Kid 2: ‘I…An.’

Me: ‘No…Ian.’

I write it on the board.

Kid 2: ‘Hahahahaha Teacher, change ‘n’ to ‘m’ and write one more time, I AM IAN.’

Then she laughed for a full 30 seconds.

***

Recruiter, after I told him I didn’t want the job he was offering: ‘I can’t handle this without you.’

Several more text messages and unanswered phone calls from him later and never have I been more convinced I made the right decision not to work with someone.

***

Submitted by Preston Wilson:

It’s so rewarding teaching children. This is a 7 year old writing a story in his second language. He is super into Medieval Hero’s!!! No edits. I type it as I see it, even grammar and spelling.

‘The young knigt Sairus

Sairus lived in house. One day he’s father died. he went to god’s king he wanted revange. Then darkness knight and Sairus fought. Last, god’s king and young knight fought. He blocked and blocked with the sword. He attacked and jump. He moved side way and attacked with amazing technique attack of the anger. then, he attacked 5 times and poke 2 times. He jump, block, move side way and block with sword. Last god’s king was stunned but 10 seconds latter he attacked! He tried to pocked but Sairus catch the sword and pocked the god’s king! Soon god’s king was dead. Tale is done. Done.’

His name is Andy! I love this kid so much!! Makes me feel amazing that he can write something like this.
***
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